My Autism Insights

  image by Designed to a T

I usually like to reflect on how our lives have developed over the past year.  Gus has had a very up and down year, but I think has come out ahead for it all.  Some of 2008’s highlights:

• Tried several dietary adjustments with no significant or sustained difference in Gus’s ability to focus or self-regulate in school.  But he is healthy which is always a plus.
• Tried medication, which in my opinion was a disaster.  It took my lively and brilliant little boy and crossed the roboticness of a Dr. Who Cyberman with the grumpiness of a Dalek.  I don’t see another medication trial in the near future unless there is some extenuating circumstance.
• Gus learned some new self-care skills this year: he can now put on shoes (with Velcro), dress with minimal prompting in the morning, and can put on fingered gloves independently.
• Gus learned to ride a two-wheeler AND within a month of learning completed a six-mile bike tour - a huge accomplishment for any seven year old.
• He joined a soccer team and really enjoys the game.

Those are just a few of the more momentous events of this past year.  Gus has expressed a desire to “behave better in school” in the coming year.  In addition, we plan to try to get him some more opportunities to socialize, possibly in a singing class or a special-needs bowling league.  In the spring, we should be able to start doing some bike riding together and we’re going to join a cycling club as a family.  That will open some opportunities for more of those long, scenic rides that are so calming for him, and may also allow him the chance to make a friend if that’s his wish.

One of the reasons I’m becoming attuned as a Kundalini Reiki practitioner is so that I can start using Reiki energy to help Gus to stay calm and focused.  If it has the benefit I’m confident it will, I’ll eventually teach him to channel Reiki energy himself.

In terms of the autism community at large, I’ll continue to share my lessons and experiences through this blog for as long as I am given a platform.  In the near future, a fellow blogger and author, Adonya Wong , will be guesting here on her virtual book tour.  She’s written a wonderful picture book entitled In My Mind and will discuss the book and her experiences with her son’s autism.  Adonya’s visit promises to spark some great discussion, and there will be a sweet giveaway as well.  Stay tuned!

So those are a few of our intentions for the coming year.  What progress have you seen this past year, and what are your plans for the days ahead?

To all my readers, new and old: Have a happy and safe New Year!

To answer Gus’s question, he does apparently.

It wasn’t pouring, but it was that gross, misty, cold rain coming down when we got to the soccer field yesterday morning.  I was expecting for the coach to say they were canceling, but no such luck.  Shortened practice/game schedule.  Fortunately, the rain stopped, but it remained cold and damp.  Gus wasn’t fazed; for me it was just shy of torture.  A few degrees colder and I would have been huddled up somewhere trying not to cry.  Cold is bad.  Wet is bad.  Together…ugh.

The game was a little different.  Instead of splitting the more experienced players from the younger, less experienced ones, everyone played a game together.  Gus got a new mentor, a girl this week named C.  He had a great time following the ball from one end of the field to the other.  He wasn’t aggressive enough to get anywhere near handling the ball, though, except for one time toward the end of the game.  Then he sort of ran it in the wrong direction.  I think all the players on the field threw him for a loop; he often ran to the sidelines to get away from the crowd. No matter, it was a good time for him and that’s what counts.

Today we went for an early morning bike ride.  There probably won’t be many more of those in near future.  We may attempt some pumpkin carving this afternoon.

On the sleep front, I’ve added something new to the bedtime routine.  First, we have these mats, not exactly exercise mats because they’re thicker (just over an inch thick) and not slip resistant.  I came by these mats because my ex-boss was giving them back to the hospital after the yoga studio closed down and she knew that Gus liked sandwiching himself between them.  So she gave me a couple for him.    At night, after therapeutic brushing and joint compressions, I let him curl up in a ball, and then I roll him up in the mat like a big burrito, and roll him back & forth on the floor.  He loves it!  Deep pressure sensory input before bed seems to be working better than the brushing, which he is resisting, at this point.

So that’s our weekend.  Hope you are having a great one too!

I was tagged by Trish of Another Piece of the Puzzle for this photo meme and decided to play along.  As a rule, I don’t post pics of myself or my kids, but I’m making an exception here - and cheating a little.  Also, my digital pics are not incredibly organized (like everything else) so this is my closest approximation of the 6th.

About the picture: A few years ago, we took a camping trip to a wolf preserve.  Here, Gus is having a chat with one of the wolves.  What we discovered was that although he had trouble communicating with us, he was in beautiful sync with these amazing creatures.  Gus was fond of hiking to the back of the wolves’ compound and getting them to all start howling.  If you’ve never heard a pack of wolves howling together, let me tell you, it is a sound that will send chills of awe through you.  And my son was able to get them to sing.  Incredible.  I get chills just recalling it.

One of the things we discovered at the preserve was that wolves are greatly misunderstood creatures.  They’re quite gentle and have their own special structure within their societies.  They are not violent or intentionally harmful, they just need to get their needs met, whether it be eating or self-defense.  No wonder Gus was able to get them to join his song - they were truly kindred spirits.

Thanks Trish, for the reminder of an amazing trip.

Edit:  Forgot to tag someone!  Okay, so I’ll tag (if you should choose to accept): Maddy, Marla,  Hauteness, Angela, and Regina.

Manic Monday by: It’s a Blog Eat Blog World

So last night was different - slightly.  Instead of waking at 4, Gus woke up around 12:30.  Instead of coming into our room, he went to the bathroom, got a drink of water, and went peacefully back to bed (with a bit of guidance of course).  So what was the formula that allowed us to get a little more sleep?

Two parts of the equation changed last night.   First, he got lots of exercise late in the day.  He rode his bike and played out back with (near, around) a bunch of other children.  The other variable was that I did his therapeutic (Wilbarger)  brushing last night before bed.  Now to find out which one was the magic ingredient to our sleep formula.

We’ll have to do some testing, trying one without the other for a couple of nights.  Personally, I think that the brushing might be the key.  At least I’m hoping that’s it.  With winter fast approaching, getting Gus out in the evening will be tough.  So, here’s to a simple solution to our sleep problem!

And the irony?  He finally slept and this morning I had to be up at 4:45 for work.  The universe has a great sense of humor.

  view from about a mile and a half into our bike ride

Occasionally I come up with a good idea.  The six mile family bike marathon today was one of them!  After some nasty storms yesterday and last night, we were treated to an absolutely magnificent day - warm but not so hot as to be draining.  We set out at eight and drove over an hour to the meeting point for the ride.  Once all the families (thankfully only about 4 or 5) were assembled, we formed a caravan and drove to the actual starting point of the ride.

We ended up bringing up the rear of the group, which I expected.  MM’s got little legs and Gus still struggles with a little weakness.  But it really didn’t matter - if there was a day for taking time and meandering along the breathtaking path, today was it!  MM wanted to speed ahead, so I rode with her for the first half of the ride.  Every know and then I peeked over my shoulder and could see Gus and my husband far behind us, but still rolling along.  One of the staff was nice enough to bring up the rear with them, and one of the organizers doubled back to check on us a few times.

MM actually stopped just short of the turning point, but Gus wanted to go all the way.  What he lacked in speed, he made up for in stamina.  He did the full six miles!  Go Gus!  MM did about 5.5 miles - still excellent for a five year old!  Then we headed back.

I rode with Gus on the way back because he was tired and was starting to lose focus.  He also was fascinated by the water and kept going way too close to the guard rail.  He tried to climb over a couple of times.  The staffer, S., was very helpful and supportive - nice to know there are some understanding and just basically kind people in the world.  It was slower going, but he kept plugging along.

MM was a little cranky because she was hungry and tired (I’M NOT TIRED!!) so we switched off again, and I rode with her almost to the finish, using the promise of any snacks she wanted as motivation.  By then the organizer had finished and come back for us again - the assistance and support were very welcome.  What nice people we met today, I tell ya!

So now, my kids can both say they completed their first (and for MM probably her last) kids’ marathon.  I’m really proud of them both, especially considering they haven’t been riding very long or very much.  I could not have bought a better day.

image from Jannaverse

This week’s Manic Monday meme from It’s a Blog Eat Blog World is about Iron.

We just got back from a camping trip with the kids, sister-in-law and brother-in-law. The grandparents came up during the day, but didn’t stay over night. SIL and BIL are in training for a half iron-man race next month. From the amount of physical exertion that went into this weekend, I feel like I’ve actually run that race. I’m exhausted! There were hikes - several - up and down hills, wood-hunting, wood-cutting, constructing and deconstructing tents, grilling, eating (loads of eating)…This is what we do for relaxation!

Gus and his sister had a magnificent time. I’m very pleased with the way he worked at staying within the boundaries of our campsite. When he started getting tired he had less self-control, but otherwise, he did really well staying with us. He and MM were both great helpers in between running circles around the grownups. I wonder how they’d fare at the half iron-man?

What did you do for this Labor Day weekend?

Because I’m multitasking at the moment (and just realized I put my pj’s on inside-out) I’ll have to be quick today.

1. I am thankful for Claritin-D 24 hour allergy medication. It’s that time of year when the change of seasons is bringing eczema, sneezing, and sleep disturbances for Gus. Claritin makes a big difference and is much less expensive than Zyrtec.

2. I am thankful for bedtime. Did I mention I just put my pj’s on inside-out? Some days are like that and I am just happy when they end.

3. I am thankful for long weekends and camping. It gets the kids away from electronics for a few days, we spend some fun family time together and sleeping in a tent (on an air mattress and as long as it’s not raining) is just awesome!

I may be scarce this weekend because of said camping. So if I’m not around, have a great weekend & Labor Day, and please share your thankfulness in a comment!

One week to go.  All the neighborhood kids are getting their last ya-yas out before they are put back on lockdown until the winter holidays.  These last couple of days have seen nearly every neighborhood kid playing in one big, mostly happy, group.  Even Gus was in the mix for a little while yesterday.  Today, he wasn’t very interested.  He chose to come in to play on the computer.  There wasn’t a problem, and no one was bothering him.  He just wanted to chill out with some peace and quiet.  Should I have made him come out, get some more exercise, enjoy the fresh air while he can?  Probably.  But it’s the last week of his vacation.  Maybe it’s okay for him to enjoy it any way he wants.

image from It’s a Blog Eat Blog World

From Dictionary.com

Wax (2) - verb

3. To grow or become

What is my dear Gus becoming? Over the course of the summer, I’ve watched him grow taller, stronger…every day he gets me with how smart he is. But the most marked growth seems to be in the area of self-sufficiency. He resists it to an extent. Who wouldn’t when you’ve spent years with a mom who was happy to do everything for you? But the more responsibility I give him, the more he rises to my challenges and seems to feel more confident as well.

Thirsty? Get yourself some water. You want that granola bar? Figure out how to tear the packaging open. You want to go outside? Find your shoes and put them on.

It is so easy, especially when your child has special needs to fall into the trap of doing everything for him. He struggles in so many ways - why not just give the kid a break already? But that’s not really helpful in the long run. As the saying goes, teach a man to fish.

Gus is waxing independent with each passing day. Thank heaven.

It’s that time again, and I have some thankfulness, but I’ve also learned some interesting things today.

First, I am thankful that our trip to the water park today went well, and both kids were amazing. There was not a single meltdown, they waited on lines beautifully, and I have to say I’ve got two of the bravest kids I know. That in itself is something to be grateful for.

But here are a few things I’ve learned today:

1. Gus is getting to a point where I can let him go, just a little, and he’ll be okay. I can’t say how terrifying it was to let him go down the huge water slides on his own, but after he went down with someone once or twice, he wanted to try it solo. So we let him. His response: “That was AWESOME!!”

2. Gus has made amazing progress. I remember a time when he couldn’t wait for 10 seconds let alone stand on a long water park ride. He started to bolt a couple of times, excited to get back on line for the slides again, but for the most part he followed the rules we laid down (ahead of time of course) and he stayed with us.

3. I can push myself much further than I give myself credit for when I have to. I hate cold water, but when Gus wanted to go in the Lazy River, I got right in. When he went into the deep part of the very crowded wave pool, which was FREEZING, I was right there with him. I hated it, but I did it anyway because his safety was more important than my discomfort. I’ve often wondered in the back of my mind if my kids got in trouble in the water if I’d be able to handle the cold enough to get to them in time. I guess I can. I even got on the big water slides. Scary, but fun.

So that’s my deal for today. What have you learned about yourself from your children?