My Autism Insights

As I promised the district, I went to visit the class they’ve been trying to convince me to transfer Gus to.  I had spoken to the teacher at length last week.  On the positive side, she is very knowledgeable, has a diverse background, and we see eye to eye on many important topics like mainstreaming and homework.  But we also have some core philosophical differences, which could become a problem like the use of candy as a reinforcer.

I spent a good hour in the in the class.  At the moment, the class is quite small.  Next year it is expected to more than double in size.  Class size was always a concern of mine since it would be bigger than what Gus is accustomed to.  The room is set up to be very open, which I think would be very distracting for Gus, but she has a primarily behavioral outlook (Applied Behavioral Analysis background) and believes that his behavior would just have to be modified.  I don’t know that it is a) possible or b) totally desirable to do that in all instances.  There would be less sensory support for Gus as well, and there would be no internet capability.  So the learning program he’s using now would be out the window.

Academically, this class focuses on much more basic skills than what Gus needs, and there is very little emphasis on Social Studies or Science - his two favorite subjects.  She does have a very interesting take on Math instruction, which I plan to do some looking into.  Overall, I doubt his academic needs would be met, and he’d be bored stiff.

As much as I like the teacher, despite our differing opinions, I can’t see Gus succeeding or being happy in that class.  I’m going to bring him in next week (he’ll be out of school anyway) just to see what he thinks of the room.  But I’m about 99% sure that I’ll be fighting for him to stay in his current school next year.  Either that, or I become a home-schooler.

I noticed a couple of new things about using music to help Gus focus when he’s doing his homework.  Typically, we use headphones and some sort of quiet, relaxation music while he’s working to help block out distractions. Monday we tried something different.

He hasn’t been using his headphones consistently, but I offered them to him Monday, and he accepted.  I showed him again how to work his MP3, and as I was scrolling through the albums to get to the one he usually likes, he stopped me.  He wanted to listen to Earth, Wind and Fire.  I wasn’t really surprised, but a little skeptical that he’d be able to work with disco pumping into his ears.  I decided to give it a try - he should be allowed to choose what he listens to - but I made the stipulation that if he didn’t pay attention to his work, we were going back to softer stuff.

Homework was completed in record time with minimal redirection or intervention from me.  Wow.

Yesterday I tried an experiment.  Instead of the headphones, I let him have his Earth, Wind and Fire playing from the computer, out loud.  What a disaster!  He didn’t even stay in his seat half the time.

So, apparently, headphones make a big difference, but so does the ability to choose what music is playing.  It stands to reason.  Adults don’t listen to the same thing all the time; we listen to what we’re in the mood for.  And for as much as Gus needs certain routines to remain fixed, the strategies that tend to work, particularly to help with his lack of focus, on any given day are always changing.  A true enigma, that one.  I’m curious to see what he’ll choose today: the Beatles or Mozart or maybe Weird Al?

It’s that time again!  I very nearly missed the fact that it is in fact Thursday.  Forgive me - I lose track sometimes!

Anyway, on to thankfulness…

I am thankful that the snowstorm that we are being threatened with is coming tomorrow instead of today even though that means Gus’s teachers won’t get their gifts until after Christmas.  But not having school canceled today allowed me to get some deadlines met, which is a BIG plus!

I am thankful that we did not decide to bake for Gus’s teacher gifts because they wouldn’t have lasted the two weeks that he will be out of school.

I am thankful that I don’t have to fight with Gus over homework for the next two weeks.  I think we were both a little done with it and the break will be much appreciated.  I’m going to try some online learning software if he’s open to trying something new to see how he does with them.

Finally, thanks so much to Barbara at Goal for the Green for two awards:

I’ll pass these along in tomorrow’s post.  Thanks for reading, and please post your thankful thoughts in a comment!

Vitus Bering - the real discoverer of Alaska

A day off from school can be a very enlightening thing.  Gus was home yesterday, and although I always do homework with him after school, it was a different experience doing it earlier in the day.  He absolutely did not want to do the work when I wanted him to and there was a good deal of acting out: rolling on the floor, loud talking, purposely filling in incorrect answers…I was frustrated, he was annoyed - actually this sounds like a typical day, except for what happened next.

Gus was (has been for several days) fixating on geography: who discovered ____; what’s the capital of ___, that sort of thing.  So, instead of doing his reading assignment or his math problems, he was going on about that.  Finally, as he was rolling around on the floor asking about who discovered Alaska, I said, “Well, I think Admiral Perry started out with 3 ships and then 5 more ships followed along.  How many ships got to Alaska?”  Booyah!  Instant transformation!  We got through a sheet of 3 digit addition, 3 digit subtraction, the stupid reading assignment about how to meet a dog (he hates dogs) and then he asked for, DEMANDED, a third math sheet.  He did not want to stop working.  Amazing how such a small shift completely commanded his attention.  Each problem became a made up story about some exploration to some country.  By the way, I stink at geography and I was spouting more crap than a newborn, but he didn’t care - I was working with him on his terms and he loved it!

So this begs the question, “Why can’t his teachers do the same thing?”  First of all, why is what they want to teach more important, more significant than what he wants to learn?  Does he really need to know the proper way to greet a dog?  It’s totally irrelevant to him - he’d be running in the opposite direction.  However, Admiral Perry having to fight off a team of sled dogs because he approached them the wrong way is pretty darned entertaining.

I looked back at some of his assignments, and aside from their irrelevance to his life except for the fact that they were readings about animals and he likes animals (I like chocolate chip cookies, but too many and I will still get sick to my stomach), there was no context.  For example: there was a booklet of geometry questions.  Across the top, he had written, “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”  That was a hint right there that he wasn’t interested in the assignment.  But I wonder, if the teacher had sat him down and said, “Pikachu is battling Paul’s Electabuzz and the only way to make his volt tackle work is if he can bounce off a tree at a right angle.  Find the right angles.”  I bet he would have found them all in a matter of seconds.

I’ve been told on a regular basis that my son can’t or won’t focus.  He’s not the problem here, I’m starting to think.  He can focus just fine - on the things that interest him.  Is it his job to shift his interest to what the educational system thinks is relevant and important, or is it their job to present the information to him in a way that will engage him?  I won’t even dignify that with an answer.

The point is that we have to stop laying blame against people who are just being who they are, and as caregivers (parents, teachers, administrators, therapists, physicians) we need to get over ourselves.  What we think is significant ain’t necessarily so.  If we are going to have any hope of helping individuals on the autism spectrum, or with ADHD, or any kids for that matter, we need to start allowing for some creativity and flexibility in thinking.  We’ve got to think out of the box a little and stop being so draconian - let’s at least meet them halfway.  Can it really be that hard?  I somehow don’t think it is.

P.S. Rear admiral Robert PEARY discovered the North Pole(this is disputed); Vitus Bering discovered Alaska; Henry Hudson did discover Manhattan, but Peter Stuyvesant did not discover New Jersey.  Pikachu did in fact kick Electabuzz’s butt.  Fat lot of good that traditional education did me.  I’m sure Gus will figure out the truth about all these guys, I doubt I’ve done irreparable harm.

So I’ve learned that I have bronchitis , which explains a great deal, like why I couldn’t breathe yesterday.  However, lack of oxygen will not keep me from showing gratitude today!

1. I am thankful for my extended family for insisting that I go to the doctor today instead of tomorrow.  An extra day without antibiotics would not have been the best idea in the world.

2.  I am thankful that Gus has found a sport and a team that he can enjoy and feel accepted just as he is. Yet, I am also thankful that there isn’t a game this weekend because he really needs to recuperate from his illness this week.

3. I am thankful that the music and headphones strategy has so far been working nicely.  Did I mention that when he was home sick on Tuesday, he sat for several minutes writing a story without me having to check on him once?  I set him up, told him what he needed to do, and he did it independently while I helped MM with her homework.  That was an amazing thing.  And the story was pretty funny too!  I found a Halloween writing prompt online, just to give him something to do besides TV watching, and he wrote about a ghost who couldn’t spell ghost (he spelled is gost).  Totally stream of consciousness, totally funny.

Please share your gratitude in a comment and have a healthy week!

“Your assignment is to read up to page 3975…Your assignment is to read up to page 2885…Your assignment is to read up to page 5930…Your assignment is to read up to page 24…”

All night I was being given assignments that I could never possibly complete.  This is Gus’s manner of perseveration.  He repeats part of an idea and then differentiates the last bit.  He does this with questions, with knock-knock jokes, with complaints, with Pokemon speak…with just about anything.  It is one of the harder aspects of his condition for me to cope with.

I have trouble absorbing information or thinking clearly when there’s too much noise.  When the noise is the same repetitive, very loud sound over and over again, it’s all I can do some days to keep from beating my head against a wall.  When that repetition is interfering with something that needs to get done in a timely fashion, homework for instance, occasionally I do pound my head a few times, much to my head’s great annoyance.

When he starts to perseverate, I usually try to get him to stop by saying, “OK, we’re finished with that,” but it doesn’t always work.  On a day like yesterday when he gets completely consumed with the giggles over his fixation, there’s no getting through to him.  Or when he’s upset and perseverating on whatever upset him, all that can be done is to sit him in my lap, rub his back, and rock him until he calms down.

It’s certainly not the worst thing in the world.  Some days I just have less patience than others (I’m in danger of getting kicked out of the Supermom League with that admission, but the truth will out as they say).  How do you handle perseveration?

Homework is an issue for parents as much as it is for kids.  The teachers have to send it home, the kids have to do it, the parents are supposed to make sure the kids do it…is it safe to say that most of us can’t stand it?  Gus is getting loads of it now - special needs does not exempt children from homework - so I’m toying with some ways to get it done without a nightly Armageddon.

Rest Period

I’ve found that the best time (for us) to do homework is about 30-45 minutes after he gets home from school.  This gives him time for a snack (can’t think when you’re hungry)  and to recharge.  Any therapeutic practices immediately follow snack time (i.e. therapeutic brushing).  Once he’s rested, the television goes off and it’s time to start homework.

Location and Focusing Tools

I’ve tried letting him do homework at the kitchen table, but there are too many distractions, so he does it at his desk.  I’ve tried different kinds of music to help him focus.  Classical distracts him.  Meditation music seemed to work, but it’s still in the testing phase.  I just play it softly on his radio, not on headphones, because he has to be able to hear me.

Sequencing

I used to think that doing the harder or least pleasant homework first would be the best way to start, but I find that it still takes his brain a little while to transition into homework mode, so doing something he doesn’t want to do in the first place just makes that process slower.  He doesn’t like writing, but he does better with math.  So now we’re doing math first.  That gets him focused enough to move into the writing work.

Incentive

Gus has usually responded well to positive reinforcers.  So I’m willing to do some give and take where homework is concerned.  Yesterday, he was stuck on the idea of cursive letters.  So, to get him through writing his spelling words I agreed to write each word in cursive after he’d written it in print.  That was enough to motivate him to get his words done with minimal stress.  Another good motivator is usually television or computer time.

Perspective

School can be exhausting for any kid, but for a child with autism, Asperger’s, or ADHD it can be particularly rough.  They have to spend so much energy in just managing themselves (e.g. sitting at a desk) and then more on actually learning material, it should be expected that their resources will be a little tapped out by the end of the day.  Making homework fun by playing games,  telling jokes to keep things light, or even taking short breaks in between subjects can make the experience much less stressful for everyone.

What homework tricks do you have to share?