My Autism Insights

  image by John Haslam/foxypar4 on Creative Commons

The clocks are ’springing forward’ tomorrow - brighter days ahead.  It’s a strange time right now: I hear birds signing outside, but the early mornings are still cold and uncomfortable.  All around the ground is a muddy quagmire topped with greenery.  We’re expecting temperatures near 60 today, but since there’s still snow on the ground, many of us parents are still dressing the kids in snowsuits so they don’t get soaked and chilled.  Even the geese have made a couple of cameos, but have decided against signing any contracts just yet; they’re gone again.  It’s the messy ‘in-between’ stage.

It has seemed lately that in some ways Gus has been going backwards; regressing.  In other ways, he has merely stagnated.  He’s still having difficulty with doing independent work in school.  And he’s been wandering the school halls or doing dangerous things like climbing on school furniture.  Why?

Nearly eight years of observation provides a hopeful answer - I try not to worry about these setbacks any more.  It seems that before he can jump forward, he’s got to take a few steps back.  The progress always outweighs the regressions.  I don’t know why exactly this happens. But when I look at nature, it seems that many transitions are less than pretty.  If you’ve ever seen a baby bird hatch, at first they’re all twisted, discombobulated, upside down…and quite unattractive (in a cute, my-mom-just-sat-on-my-head kind of way).

Baby Robin Hatching video by Youtube user JSitube

Gus woke up this morning (at a reasonable hour), dressed himself (in matching clothes even), went downstairs and set his Pokemon game up until everyone else got out of bed.  Clearly, he’s gaining independence.  He’s already gone through a physical growth spurt, and now his mind is following along with a developmental surge.  The regressive behaviors are already starting to fade along with the dark days.  He’s almost squelched through all the transitional muck.  I see sunnier skies in Gus’s near future.

Do you notice any regression in your child just before a developmental leap forward?

Kings Cross Clock image by Oxyman from Wikimedia Commons

Gus woke up at 4:40 this morning.  He’s been waking up very early, on and off, for over a week now.  Ironically, he’s been having better days when he’s been up early than he has on the days he’s slept until his usual 5:30-6 or later.  For some reason, this has seemed bizarre, and then I looked at the calendar.  The clocks are springing forward on Sunday.  Could it be that Gus’s body clock is adjusting itself?

We usually start getting the kids ready for a time change a couple of weeks early.  We adjust bedtimes/wake-up times in fifteen minute increments,  earlier or later depending on the season.  It’s saved us from a considerable amount of drama from an abrupt transition.  Maybe after almost 8 years of doing this, he’s finally able to make the switch himself. Maybe this is progress and some self-regulation skills are emerging.  Or maybe he just loves life so much he’s really eager to start the day!

How do you prepare for the seasonal clock changes?

It’s great to be in sync with service providers without even knowing it.  Apparently Gus’s Occupational Therapist (OT) has been teaching him to tie his shoes.  For a child with a short attention span and trouble with fine motor skills and coordination, this can be a difficult life skill to learn (tying in general, not just shoes).  Gus had said a while back that he would learn to tie them by the time he turns eight.  Well, that’s coming up pretty quickly, and he might just do it!

I know there are a few strategies used to teach kids to tie shoes .  We’re using the single loop method.  We tried bunny ears, but that just didn’t work for some reason.  Some people use elaborate stories, but ours isn’t too complex.  He sings She’ll Be Comin’ Around the Mountain while he’s tying, which is a double edged sword - he gets the gist of the story, but he also loses focus because of the singing.

1. “She” is on a train coming around the mountain.  So we need to make the train tracks.  Make an X with the laces.
2. The train goes through the first tunnel. Take the tail of one lace, through the tunnel and then pull them apart.
3. Make a mountain.  With the dominant hand, make a single loop and hold in place.  (I find that Gus sometimes forgets to hold onto the loop.)
4. Now the train goes around the mountain and through another tunnel.  Take the straight lace around the loop, and then push from the middle through the second tunnel.  Pull the loops apart.

It’s not a foolproof method, but he’s getting it.  Because he tends to learn well with a musical component (musical intelligence) the song does it for him, but use whatever works for your child.

Has your child learned to tie shoes?  If so, what method worked for you?

Despite the fact that it hasn’t gone above 65 in our house yet today, I am still in a surprisingly good mood.  Thankfulness for today:

I am thankful that both my kids did well on their second quarter report cards.  Gus is doing a little better with his IEP goals; out of 27 goals, he’s progressing in about 19 of them.  Last quarter that progress number was much lower.  His academic report is good, especially in Reading, Social Studies and Science.  MM showed great improvement in her writing and is doing really well in math and reading.  Her teacher also called her a “delight” and a “good example” in the class.  Sorry for the bragging, but I allow myself a proud mommy moment once in a while.

I am thankful that Gus is also being given a Principal’s award next week (alright, two proud mommy moments).  Now, he was given an Outstanding Effort award last year and there was an interesting incident with a microphone…hopefully, we won’t see a repeat.  And if we do, I am resolved to just laugh about it.  Those assemblies are often way to serious anyway.

I am thankful that my sister’s friend, who had asked me for an impromptu Reiki healing a few weeks ago, apparently decided to pay me.  She asked at the time and I told her that I didn’t want any money.  But she sent some anyway.  A nice compliment, and always useful!  That was an awesome surprise!

This all goes to show that even in the coldest and bleakest of times, good things can still happen.  Please share your gratitude below and have a great week!

Or a brand new year as it were!  Happy New Year, readers!  Today I am thankful for:

• Getting home safely from our brief New Year’s Eve celebration at my cousin’s.  We got hit with a snowstorm yesterday morning, and decided to go out anyway as soon as the snow stopped.  The roads were kind of bad, but the kids were so excited about seeing her kids that we chanced it.  Her son is a few weeks younger than Gus and has a similar diagnosis.  They usually only interact in passing, but yet always seem excited to see each other.  They did play together yesterday, so it seems that they may progress toward being friends one of these days.
• I am thankful for a very patient and kind waitress this morning when we took the troops out for breakfast this morning.  In my infinite wisdom this morning, it didn’t occur to me that we had waited too late to get moving.  Gus has a much harder time with his coping skills when he’s tired or hungry.  So he got upset that we had to go to our table before he was ready, and he was quite rude to the waitress.  I wouldn’t say he had a full blown meltdown, but he was pretty loud and clearly distressed.  The waitress never even flinched or frowned, just went on as if he were being the most docile child on the planet.  Had I been less agitated myself, I would have thanked her especially.  The world needs more people like her.
• I am always thankful for the chance to start fresh and to try new things.  We got some good news yesterday which was a good omen for things to come.

What are you thankful for at the start of this new year?

  image by Designed to a T

I usually like to reflect on how our lives have developed over the past year.  Gus has had a very up and down year, but I think has come out ahead for it all.  Some of 2008’s highlights:

• Tried several dietary adjustments with no significant or sustained difference in Gus’s ability to focus or self-regulate in school.  But he is healthy which is always a plus.
• Tried medication, which in my opinion was a disaster.  It took my lively and brilliant little boy and crossed the roboticness of a Dr. Who Cyberman with the grumpiness of a Dalek.  I don’t see another medication trial in the near future unless there is some extenuating circumstance.
• Gus learned some new self-care skills this year: he can now put on shoes (with Velcro), dress with minimal prompting in the morning, and can put on fingered gloves independently.
• Gus learned to ride a two-wheeler AND within a month of learning completed a six-mile bike tour - a huge accomplishment for any seven year old.
• He joined a soccer team and really enjoys the game.

Those are just a few of the more momentous events of this past year.  Gus has expressed a desire to “behave better in school” in the coming year.  In addition, we plan to try to get him some more opportunities to socialize, possibly in a singing class or a special-needs bowling league.  In the spring, we should be able to start doing some bike riding together and we’re going to join a cycling club as a family.  That will open some opportunities for more of those long, scenic rides that are so calming for him, and may also allow him the chance to make a friend if that’s his wish.

One of the reasons I’m becoming attuned as a Kundalini Reiki practitioner is so that I can start using Reiki energy to help Gus to stay calm and focused.  If it has the benefit I’m confident it will, I’ll eventually teach him to channel Reiki energy himself.

In terms of the autism community at large, I’ll continue to share my lessons and experiences through this blog for as long as I am given a platform.  In the near future, a fellow blogger and author, Adonya Wong , will be guesting here on her virtual book tour.  She’s written a wonderful picture book entitled In My Mind and will discuss the book and her experiences with her son’s autism.  Adonya’s visit promises to spark some great discussion, and there will be a sweet giveaway as well.  Stay tuned!

So those are a few of our intentions for the coming year.  What progress have you seen this past year, and what are your plans for the days ahead?

To all my readers, new and old: Have a happy and safe New Year!

As I watched Gus diving on top of the other two kids in the snow tube, I reflected on how far he’s come in the past few years in terms of handling the snow.  It’s always been an interesting paradox: he hates things that are wet, especially clothing, but he loves the snow.  There was a time when he would refuse to keep gloves on, but his hands would freeze.  Snow days used to be fun, but tough.

I’ve learned to bundle him up enough so that he stays dry, and I don’t skimp on the winter gear.  Lands End is my favorite for winter wear, especially their snow boots.  Being that I also have trouble with being cold and/or wet, I can personally attest that we have never had a problem with any of their products.

Aside from waterproof boots and gloves, a few minor things have made snow play a little easier:

• hats with ear flaps and hooded jackets
• jacket that comes just below the hips
• neck gaiters instead of a scarf - they don’t come undone, they’re soft, and they aren’t bulky
• snow bibs instead of just pants, and the ones that have gaiters to go inside snow boots

I also make sure that Gus puts his mittens on before his jacket.  That way we extend the amount of time it takes for snow to start getting inside them.  Once the snow gets in, we’re pretty much done.  And, while all these things seem fairly obvious, it took me years of drama to figure them out, especially since I wasn’t much into snow growing up.  I wouldn’t be now if it wasn’t for my kids.

We had a pretty good time today, and when they came in, Gus was almost completely dry, except for the edges of his shirt sleeves (snow got in the mittens eventually).  MM was another story, but she all but buried herself in the snow, loving every second of it.  She was relatively dry all things considered.

When we came in, the kids both wanted something hot.  Of course, Gus hates hot cocoa or tea.  But today he asked for hot cocoa (big shocker) so I obliged.  Now, I almost never give him chocolate, but we found a hot cocoa without caffeine called Hershey’s Goodnight Kisses, which I bought for the express purpose of letting him try it.  He did and still hates hot cocoa.  So we settled for hot apple juice and called it a day.

The snow is still falling, and I expect it will for the rest of the night.  Tomorrow, we’ll probably try snow-tubing down one of the big hills, and maybe we’ll even get to build a snow man.  I’m sure Gus will treat us to a song - he’s been big on the Christmas carols for a few days now.  Funny how a foot of snow can really make things fall into place during this season - even for those of us who have sensory issues with the cold, wet stuff.

Sleeping Beauty by Sir Edward Burne-Jones

We took the kids to see a community theater production of Sleeping Beauty.  I was nervous about going, especially after our fifteen minutes of Wall-E.  Things turned out much better than expected.

The show was a musical, which was a BIG plus because Gus loves music.  It was also the earlier of the two shows, so it wasn’t very crowded.  Win!  We got seats near the back right on the aisle (just in case we had to leave).

We had a discussion about the ‘play rules’ on the way over, and we made sure everyone had lunch so there wouldn’t be any hunger meltdowns.  There was about a fifteen minute wait after we got to the auditorium, but he was excited and in a good enough mood that he handled himself well.  The show itself was great, notably the role of the Prince.  Once the lights went down Gus was mesmerized and wasn’t even disturbed by the fact that there was no intermission.  He actually sat through the show better than MM, who started bouncing in her seat about halfway through the show.  She was funny - at one point during a set change, she said, “Can we just get on with the show?  Enough commercials already!”

We were worried that Gus would be yelling out comments, but he was amazingly good about keeping his voice down.

After the show, the actors hung out in the hall and signed autographs as their characters.  MM got a few, but then Gus decided he wanted one too.  He’d been reading the actors’ bios and decided on one.  So we went up to ‘the Prince,’ a very kind fourteen year old, and Gus asked for an autograph.  Then he proceeded to tell the boy his (the Prince’s) name, and what grade he was in.  Prince was a little weirded out until I explained that Gus had just read his bio on the wall.  I think he thought he had a seven year old stalker.

All in all, a great day out for the family.  I’m sure that the advance prep work made all the difference.  That and I think we were due for a little luck as well.

Thanks to Mo from Manic Monday

From YourDictionary.com : Harvest - noun - 4. the outcome or consequence of any effort or series of events.

This is the time of year when we typically receive the harvest of Gus’s efforts during his first quarter of school: his report cards.  He gets two reports - a district report card and an IEP report.  I was a little dismayed to see that the two reports were very different.  So during our parent-teacher conference, I asked why this was.

The district report shows his progress and ability in very generalized areas.  The IEP shows his progress in the specific areas that have been targeted for this year.  Generally, he’s doing fine.  But the specifics are pretty shaky.  There were several ‘not progressing satisfactorily’ marks, mostly having to do with his ability to focus and attend to tasks.  Yet, the meeting made me feel more hopeful.

After Thanksgiving, his teacher will be implementing computer time into the routine, and Gus will be allowed to complete at least some of his independent work on a computer.  So there will be no need for us to buy him a laptop for school, and as a matter of fact, the teacher would prefer he not use one in school because it would likely become a deterrent to complete some of the other things he has to do during the day - like group work.  That’s fine with me, and I think that any amount of computer time will be a benefit for him.

So come next harvest time, probably around the time just before or after the New Year, hopefully the results on his IEP report will be a little more positive.  At least I am certain that his teachers’ and therapists’ attitudes toward him are positive, and that is always a good thing.

This will be a non-autism related post…sort of.  I’ve just spent the evening watching the first African-American president become elected.  And I feel hopeful.  I feel hopeful that my bi-racial children will now grow up among a different world view, that there is now an image of success at a whole different level than I’d ever imagined.  I feel hopeful that no matter what my son’s differences, it has been proven in a very visceral way for me that the sky is truly the limit for him, for my daughter, for generations to come.

I’m rambling a little because I’m, honestly, floored.   No matter what happens now, beyond political alliance or color of skin, the majority of the people of this nation have stood up and looked beyond difference toward our best hope to achieve the common good.

So in that way, maybe this is a post about autism, about succeeding regardless of difference.  Maybe it is a post about possibility, and vision, and hope.  Yes, we can.  I will look at my son with the renewed belief that yes, he can too.