My Autism Insights

Kings Cross Clock image by Oxyman from Wikimedia Commons

Gus woke up at 4:40 this morning.  He’s been waking up very early, on and off, for over a week now.  Ironically, he’s been having better days when he’s been up early than he has on the days he’s slept until his usual 5:30-6 or later.  For some reason, this has seemed bizarre, and then I looked at the calendar.  The clocks are springing forward on Sunday.  Could it be that Gus’s body clock is adjusting itself?

We usually start getting the kids ready for a time change a couple of weeks early.  We adjust bedtimes/wake-up times in fifteen minute increments,  earlier or later depending on the season.  It’s saved us from a considerable amount of drama from an abrupt transition.  Maybe after almost 8 years of doing this, he’s finally able to make the switch himself. Maybe this is progress and some self-regulation skills are emerging.  Or maybe he just loves life so much he’s really eager to start the day!

How do you prepare for the seasonal clock changes?

Do audio books help individuals with auditory processing disorders to strengthen their listening and processing skills?  It would seem that they do.  According to Christie Berry, Ed. D., in her essay “Reading with your Ears ,” “Listening to unabridged audio books while following along in the book improves language skills, auditory processing, and contributes to an increase in overall cognitive abilities.” This was heartening to find as it validated 2 things I’ve been thinking about.  First, I’m noticing that Gus has a greater ability to focus on something auditory when he’s being read a story and following along (as opposed to listening if I’m asking him or giving an instruction).  So I started wondering if audio books might start to increase the length of time that he can sustain listening. This question was brought about by a second observation I recently made,  this one about myself.

I have terrible listening skills - always have.  Unless I’m very interested in what someone is saying, I zone out pretty quickly.  You can see how that might have been a problem in school since I often didn’t pay attention to what my teachers were saying (except the especially interesting one).  Fortunately, I’m a much more visual learner and a combination of reading and writing things down allowed me to excel, at least through high school.  College was a different story.  I had one teacher, my accounting professor, who droned on so badly that I could not stay awake in his class no matter how many coffees I had beforehand.  Only class I ever flunked.  When I became a teacher years later, there was always a running joke between my co-teacher and myself because neither of us was ever able to listen in the professional development meetings. We’d always say, “we don’t do extended listening.”

Then a few years ago, something incredible and completely unexpected happened.  Harry Potter on CD.  I was already a crazy obsessed fan, so I figured I could listen to them while driving and even if I missed a bunch of stuff, I knew them almost verbatim anyway.  What a surprise to learn that Jim Dale is a wonderful narrator and that I actually did have the capacity to listen to something for a long stretch - if it was interesting.

I’ve since become very fond of audio books and listen to segments of books almost every day.  Even the books I find less engaging to read (Jane Austen) hold my interest with the help of a good reader.  I’m fairly certain I’ve increased my capacity to pay attention to auditory information.  I’m thinking of trying some audio books for Gus (not Harry Potter - my kids don’t share my enthusiasm).  Perhaps they might help him to be able to focus in the classroom a little better over time.

For additional information on how audio books can help with auditory processing disorders, check out “Improving Auditory Processing - Listening to Language” by Sharon Hensley.

Have you had any success with using audio books to develop auditory processing skills?

Tomorrow: guest post from the author of General Hysteria on art projects for special needs children.  Don’t miss it!

It’s great to be in sync with service providers without even knowing it.  Apparently Gus’s Occupational Therapist (OT) has been teaching him to tie his shoes.  For a child with a short attention span and trouble with fine motor skills and coordination, this can be a difficult life skill to learn (tying in general, not just shoes).  Gus had said a while back that he would learn to tie them by the time he turns eight.  Well, that’s coming up pretty quickly, and he might just do it!

I know there are a few strategies used to teach kids to tie shoes .  We’re using the single loop method.  We tried bunny ears, but that just didn’t work for some reason.  Some people use elaborate stories, but ours isn’t too complex.  He sings She’ll Be Comin’ Around the Mountain while he’s tying, which is a double edged sword - he gets the gist of the story, but he also loses focus because of the singing.

1. “She” is on a train coming around the mountain.  So we need to make the train tracks.  Make an X with the laces.
2. The train goes through the first tunnel. Take the tail of one lace, through the tunnel and then pull them apart.
3. Make a mountain.  With the dominant hand, make a single loop and hold in place.  (I find that Gus sometimes forgets to hold onto the loop.)
4. Now the train goes around the mountain and through another tunnel.  Take the straight lace around the loop, and then push from the middle through the second tunnel.  Pull the loops apart.

It’s not a foolproof method, but he’s getting it.  Because he tends to learn well with a musical component (musical intelligence) the song does it for him, but use whatever works for your child.

Has your child learned to tie shoes?  If so, what method worked for you?

Imagine you are heading to a friends’ new home for a housewarming (pretend it’s the days before Map-quest and Google-maps and GPS) and all the invitation says is to be a place XYZ.  How would you get there? You turn the envelope inside out, and there are no directions! Admit it, you’d be at least a little annoyed and might end up quite frustrated.  You might even just decide to mail a gift and not bother trying to find the place.  When you ask your friends about the lack of directions, they might say, “Oh, I figured you knew how to get here.”

If you’ve followed a route to a destination many times, it’s easy to forget that it’s not such an automatic process for everyone else.  This is a good analogy for how many parents give their autistic children (or even ADHD children) instructions.

I’ve been guilty of this as well.  I’ll often tell Gus, “get dressed,” and then 20 minutes later, he’ll still be in pajamas.  Once or twice he put his clothes on over pajamas.  It finally occurred to me that giving a child with auditory processing problems a multi-step instruction is probably not the most effective way to get things done.  I won’t even get into how badly “clean your room” usually works out.

Lately, I’ve tried a different approach - breaking down a general request into smaller component parts.  Instead of “get dressed,” I now start off with, “get dressed - pajamas off first…now put on your shirt…now put on your pants…great! close your pants…socks next…” His brain needs each step in the process, just like a computer program does.  Without the steps, the process can’t even get started, let alone completed.

Now, you might wonder if constantly reminding your child about these ’steps’ will make him or her less independent.  I think that, like many things, with enough repetition, these things will become automatic.  If you want to encourage more independence, you could try visual reminders in a sort of checklist format.  For example, in each of our bathrooms, we have steps for using the toilet (i.e. flush, pull up pants, wash hands) with pictures and words so that it was accessible for both kids. I’ll still ask if they’ve done each step after they come out of the bathroom, and I’ll get an exasperated, “yes, Mom,” but at least I know the checklists helped.  At some point in the next 30 years I’ll be able to stop asking.  In the meanwhile, I can shout a little less about things not getting done.

There were so many supportive and helpful comments to my post yesterday , I felt they deserved a post to say Thank You!!  It always amazes me that there are just so many awesome people who read and comment on my little corner of the Internet - it really boggles the mind some days.

We’ve tossed around some of your suggestions, and obviously this will be a process of trial and error as he grows and develops social skills.  We thought about Scouts, but without one of us to be at the meetings & activities with him, aside from the fact that I don’t see how Gus would even keep up, I’m not convinced that he wouldn’t bolt at the first chance, especially if the local troop is a big one. A friend suggested that maybe they’d have someone who could act as a shadow/mentor, but before I trust my son’s well being to anyone, obviously I’d have to know them extremely well.  And even then, the trust is tenuous at best.  I can’t say I’m the most forgiving person when it comes to some things.

As for sports, I think there may be a couple of indoor soccer games over the winter, but in the meantime, I’m looking into a special needs bowling league.  He might like that.  And I’m going to see if he can hang out, maybe over the holidays, with one of the boys from his class who I think doesn’t live too far.

He loves to sing, so I’m thinking maybe a voice class or chorus might be an option also.

At any rate, I will certainly take all your suggestions and input into consideration, and again, I really appreciate the great response to my question!!

Have a great Saturday night!

As my daughter’s class explores questions of wants vs. needs, and we spend a laugh-filled, lovely evening with some of my husbands oldest and dearest friends, I am forced back to an issue that I often avoid thinking about.  How do I help Gus find a friend?  Are friends a want or a need, especially for a kid who prefers to be alone?

Listening to all the hilarious stories of a group of boys between the ages of 12 and…well, now, I was struck by how such simple encounters made for the longest lasting memories.  I realized just how dumb ‘tween and teen boys can be (No offense, C!  I love the stories and I’m honestly a little jealous of all the fun you all had!) but also that on a very tangible level, they need the wild release that they can only get from being around other boys their age.  The wildness seems to forge them into the men they will become.  There seem to be valuable lessons in that nuttiness.  Look at Mowgli from The Jungle Book.  He had all those adventures with Baloo, which cause Baghera endless headaches, but in the end he was able to become civilized.  He grew from those adventures.  What happens to a boy then who doesn’t have those formative, crazy-male-bonding experiences?

The trouble is mostly that he never seems all that interested in being friends with anyone.  He has, on the rare occasion, approached a boy his age, but it almost never works out and he ends up alone - happily I should add.  There are very few boys his age in the neighborhood, and they don’t have the patience for someone who can’t quite keep up or for someone who takes so much work just to have a conversation with.  I’m usually just happy they’re not mean to him when he’s around; they just sort of ignore him.  Every rainbow colored moon, they will play together if there’s an adult (my husband) facilitating a game.

If he’s happier on his own then, is it right for me to push him into situations where he has to interact with other boys his age?  Is it fair?  Is it setting him up for anxiety and heartache?  But if I don’t, he misses out on a huge part of male development, it seems.

This came up at his parent-teacher conference, and we all tried to brainstorm ways to get him into a social setting.  We thought of music classes or bowling.  Soccer, which is on hiatus now anyway, is too busy to allow for developing much of a friendship.  They run, they go home, end of story.  Bowling has possibilities, and I’ll call about a special-needs team in the area.  Music classes don’t strike me as the best social opportunity, although he does love it.  I won’t even get into the cost issue for music classes.

Should I get him involved in an online community for kids?  Maybe I can find a Pokemon kids forum or something.  A pen-pal would be better than nothing at this point.

There’s also the possibility that I don’t need to be so concerned about this and he’ll be just fine without my interference.  I don’t know - thoughts?  And my apologies if I’m rambly - that kind of day.

Sunday is the new Thursday this week

I am most thankful today because last week ended and it truly stunk.  As any mature adult named Andrea would do, I have blacked it off of the calendar and will just pretend it never existed.

I am thankful that Gus’s soccer game got cancelled yesterday.  It was a shame, because it was the last game of the season, but if I had to spend an hour and a half in the pouring rain, I think I would have had to be institutionalized, especially after the week that shall not be named.

I am thankful that Gus, with all his issues, acts like a typical big brother toward MM.  This includes getting thoroughly sick of her and doing everything in his power to escape her while she insistently follows behind him, rattling on, non-stop.  They’ve been fighting on and off all weekend, and he finally thought he was getting a break by going out with his Dad, until he found out that his sister was actually ready and we were coming too.  Oh, the horror!  The girls are coming!  It’ll be good practice for him when instead of having to escape a whining sister, he’s trying to get away from a nagging wife.  We can hope.

Hope you had a great weekend, and if you’ve got something to be thankful for, by all means, please share!

P.S. I’ll be extra thankful when November is over. My Nano wordcount is 28,541. A little more than halfway there.

Vitus Bering - the real discoverer of Alaska

A day off from school can be a very enlightening thing.  Gus was home yesterday, and although I always do homework with him after school, it was a different experience doing it earlier in the day.  He absolutely did not want to do the work when I wanted him to and there was a good deal of acting out: rolling on the floor, loud talking, purposely filling in incorrect answers…I was frustrated, he was annoyed - actually this sounds like a typical day, except for what happened next.

Gus was (has been for several days) fixating on geography: who discovered ____; what’s the capital of ___, that sort of thing.  So, instead of doing his reading assignment or his math problems, he was going on about that.  Finally, as he was rolling around on the floor asking about who discovered Alaska, I said, “Well, I think Admiral Perry started out with 3 ships and then 5 more ships followed along.  How many ships got to Alaska?”  Booyah!  Instant transformation!  We got through a sheet of 3 digit addition, 3 digit subtraction, the stupid reading assignment about how to meet a dog (he hates dogs) and then he asked for, DEMANDED, a third math sheet.  He did not want to stop working.  Amazing how such a small shift completely commanded his attention.  Each problem became a made up story about some exploration to some country.  By the way, I stink at geography and I was spouting more crap than a newborn, but he didn’t care - I was working with him on his terms and he loved it!

So this begs the question, “Why can’t his teachers do the same thing?”  First of all, why is what they want to teach more important, more significant than what he wants to learn?  Does he really need to know the proper way to greet a dog?  It’s totally irrelevant to him - he’d be running in the opposite direction.  However, Admiral Perry having to fight off a team of sled dogs because he approached them the wrong way is pretty darned entertaining.

I looked back at some of his assignments, and aside from their irrelevance to his life except for the fact that they were readings about animals and he likes animals (I like chocolate chip cookies, but too many and I will still get sick to my stomach), there was no context.  For example: there was a booklet of geometry questions.  Across the top, he had written, “NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”  That was a hint right there that he wasn’t interested in the assignment.  But I wonder, if the teacher had sat him down and said, “Pikachu is battling Paul’s Electabuzz and the only way to make his volt tackle work is if he can bounce off a tree at a right angle.  Find the right angles.”  I bet he would have found them all in a matter of seconds.

I’ve been told on a regular basis that my son can’t or won’t focus.  He’s not the problem here, I’m starting to think.  He can focus just fine - on the things that interest him.  Is it his job to shift his interest to what the educational system thinks is relevant and important, or is it their job to present the information to him in a way that will engage him?  I won’t even dignify that with an answer.

The point is that we have to stop laying blame against people who are just being who they are, and as caregivers (parents, teachers, administrators, therapists, physicians) we need to get over ourselves.  What we think is significant ain’t necessarily so.  If we are going to have any hope of helping individuals on the autism spectrum, or with ADHD, or any kids for that matter, we need to start allowing for some creativity and flexibility in thinking.  We’ve got to think out of the box a little and stop being so draconian - let’s at least meet them halfway.  Can it really be that hard?  I somehow don’t think it is.

P.S. Rear admiral Robert PEARY discovered the North Pole(this is disputed); Vitus Bering discovered Alaska; Henry Hudson did discover Manhattan, but Peter Stuyvesant did not discover New Jersey.  Pikachu did in fact kick Electabuzz’s butt.  Fat lot of good that traditional education did me.  I’m sure Gus will figure out the truth about all these guys, I doubt I’ve done irreparable harm.

Prompt from Mo at Manic Monday .

Hmm…things that we have a bounty of in our lives right now:

Days off and half days -  These are bountiful this month and next.  Between holidays, parent/teacher conference days, and any other reason the district can find to shut down,  Gus will be home an awful lot.  So much for the consistency and structure that he needs in order to function.  However, we will get the opportunity for some home learning.  Unfortunately, this also means less time during the day for me to work.  And when work does not get done, the paychecks are not so bountiful.

Toys and stuff that needs to not be in this house - Every year when the holidays roll around, I try to weed out toys that are a) no longer age appropriate b) broken c) not ever played with.  The toy chests are overly bountiful.  The purging never seems to work, which is becoming a problem.  Gus has a hard enough time focusing without having a gazillion options.  Also, trying to help him learn to be more independent in cleaning up after himself becomes even more difficult for him when the amount of things he has to be responsible for is so overwhelming.  And his is the more organized of the two kids’ bedrooms.  Don’t get me started on his sister’s…

Cheese - If I had known how bountiful the joy would be just from such a simple thing as being allowed to eat cheese, I never would have stripped it from Gus’s diet.  He’s been eating dairy again for a few weeks now, and I haven’t seen a significant difference in behavior or focus.

So, to sum up, if it was not clear enough, kids on the autism spectrum (and probably kids in general) benefit from structure and consistency, are not helped by clutter, and are not harmed (unless there is some other gastric sensitivity or allergy) by dairy products.  And that’s all she wrote today.  Your thoughts and comments are greatly appreciated!

Manic Monday by Mo

In which Gus learns some new colorful language…

Last week I mentioned somewhere (I think) that Gus had called me a freak because he didn’t like something I was telling him.  I told him that it wasn’t a nice word and that he wasn’t allowed to call anyone that.  I thought that was the end of that because I didn’t hear it again.

Until this morning.  Gus and MM were doing a puzzle of the United States, a nice colorful one with all the state capitals on it (we’re perseverating on capitals these days).  They got into an argument and Gus let loose the F-word.  “Freak.”  He whispered it so that only she could hear him because he is too smart for his own good sometimes.

Of course she starts crying and yelling; her honor has been impugned, dangit!

I asked him, “Do you even know what that word means?”  And he looked at me - I notice when he is really interested in something, like a new definition, he’ll make eye contact if for only an instant.

“No!  What does it mean?”  The boy was practically quaking with excitement.

So we explained in terms that a 5 year old could understand, and then I asked him if he would like it if someone called him a freak?  I’d lost his interest by then and got the perfunctory negative response.  And MM got the perfunctory apology.

This is a typical problem with pragmatic or social speech deficits.  You can take a kid with a huge vocabulary and ability to retain information, but he won’t necessarily understand the nuances or the impact of those words, when it’s appropriate to use language in different situations, or that people may react differently to the same phrase.  What he said to me that just earned him a verbal correction greatly upset and hurt his little sister.  So it’s an interesting task to try to teach him about not saying hurtful things.  I don’t even want to think how nuts it will get when the words get even more colorful as he ages and is exposed to more advanced children.