My Autism Insights

Hope you all enjoyed/are enjoying your holidays!  We spent Christmas day visiting family.  Although it was a long day involving a good bit of travel, it was lower-key than usual, which was a good thing.  The last leg of our journey was to my husband’s aunt’s house.

They have a collection of singing plushies: singing Christmas trees, snowmen and penguins, dancing Santas…the works.  There was even a tree that danced and walked toward you.  Gus is always fascinated by them.  He especially enjoys making them all sing at the same time!  So apparently, his noise sensitivity does not extend to lots of different toys singing different songs all at once!  But when his sister cries it’s like the end of the world as we know it.  As irritating as all the mixed songs were to me, the unabashed bliss on his face eventually made me keep my mouth shut and just let him have his fun.

Always interesting to note all the little nuances of Gus’s Asperger’s and Sensory Integration Disorder.

Did you notice anything new or interesting over this holiday?

prompt from Mo at Manic Monday

First an update on our tree situation:  It is still standing and well!  There’s been some sort of Christmas miracle!  Several of our keepsake ornaments have been dismembered, but a little glue has saved most of those.  Gus seems to have lost interest in redecorating the tree.  I’d attribute this to either being distracted by gifts and things under the tree, or perhaps he just finally got it just the way he wanted it.  One string of lights bit the dust, but they’re so fragile, I didn’t even give it a second thought.  So our tree drama seems to be over and so far things have been peaceful.

And now on to a tree post of a different sort.  If you’ve been following, you’ll know that Gus has a little obsession with Pokemon.  Last Christmas we gave him the Pokemon DVD board game.  I give it high points for replay value - they had me playing this morning even before breakfast.  I got to play the character Brock who starts with a Pokemon named Sudowoodo.  Sudowoodo evolves from Bonsly - a baby bonsai tree - into a small human sized, walking tree.  Why is he a rock type?  Even Gus, guru of all things Pokemon, has not been able to explain that to me.

Of course, he won the game and had to help MM and me with most of our trivia questions.  I often question the wisdom in letting him have his obsession - is it smart to encourage it?  I think, at least in this case, it probably is.  I think Pokemon has been a vehicle for his to work on social skills.  It’s one of the few board games he’ll actually play, although we do have to work on the inappropriate or insensitive things he says when someone doesn’t know an answer or when someone else is losing and upset about it (like his sister).  He’s getting the Pokemon card game this year, along with a Pokedex, and a Pokemon encyclopedia covering all 3 regions.  The boy will be in hog heaven as they say.  And if I can sneak a peek at that encyclopedia, I may just beat him at the game one of these days.

Happy Winter Solstice!  In keeping with our family tradition, we got up early this morning and went outside to greet the sun.  From now on the days will start to gradually lengthen - what’s not to celebrate?  As we trekked through calf-deep snow (knee deep for poor MM) I realized what a sensory wonderland it was for Gus!

I’ve read that kids with ADHD and many on the autism spectrum do particularly well when they can spend some time out in nature.  I’ve found this to be true for Gus (Asperger’s and borderline ADHD).  I did some videotaping and tried to experience the moment from his perspective.  I’m not expert at video-making yet, but here’s a brief glimpse of our trip to the lake this morning:

• Trudging through the snow allowed Gus to use his large muscles providing proprioceptive sensory input and also strengthening the weaker core muscles.
• Being bundled in several layers of warm clothing gave him some deep pressure (squeezing) which tends to be calming for him.
• At one point, Gus lay down in the snow which also provided deep pressure with the added bonus of a snow angel thrown in with the deal.
• Early morning, cold, snowy day - very quiet and heavenly for a child with noise sensitivity.
• The rushing wind created a white noise that added to the soothing feel, especially when listening to it through a jacket hood.

On the way back, we decided to take the long scenic route, and I noticed that Gus was exuberant and loving the morning, but not in the manic way we typically see when he’s racing through the house.  That was a gift in itself!

Speaking of gifts, the kids were allowed to open a couple of gifts last night and this morning.  Celebrating both Solstice/Yule and Christmas helps to mitigate some of the craziness of Christmas day.  They get less overwhelmed by too much ’stuff’ and can take the time to enjoy their presents a little at a time.  He loved the mini Hot Wheels set and the new Leapster game; the MP3 player didn’t go over as well as I thought.  Perhaps when he learns to use it, he’ll warm up a little to it.

So that was our morning.  How does your special sensory needs child do with outdoor/nature time?

As I watched Gus diving on top of the other two kids in the snow tube, I reflected on how far he’s come in the past few years in terms of handling the snow.  It’s always been an interesting paradox: he hates things that are wet, especially clothing, but he loves the snow.  There was a time when he would refuse to keep gloves on, but his hands would freeze.  Snow days used to be fun, but tough.

I’ve learned to bundle him up enough so that he stays dry, and I don’t skimp on the winter gear.  Lands End is my favorite for winter wear, especially their snow boots.  Being that I also have trouble with being cold and/or wet, I can personally attest that we have never had a problem with any of their products.

Aside from waterproof boots and gloves, a few minor things have made snow play a little easier:

• hats with ear flaps and hooded jackets
• jacket that comes just below the hips
• neck gaiters instead of a scarf - they don’t come undone, they’re soft, and they aren’t bulky
• snow bibs instead of just pants, and the ones that have gaiters to go inside snow boots

I also make sure that Gus puts his mittens on before his jacket.  That way we extend the amount of time it takes for snow to start getting inside them.  Once the snow gets in, we’re pretty much done.  And, while all these things seem fairly obvious, it took me years of drama to figure them out, especially since I wasn’t much into snow growing up.  I wouldn’t be now if it wasn’t for my kids.

We had a pretty good time today, and when they came in, Gus was almost completely dry, except for the edges of his shirt sleeves (snow got in the mittens eventually).  MM was another story, but she all but buried herself in the snow, loving every second of it.  She was relatively dry all things considered.

When we came in, the kids both wanted something hot.  Of course, Gus hates hot cocoa or tea.  But today he asked for hot cocoa (big shocker) so I obliged.  Now, I almost never give him chocolate, but we found a hot cocoa without caffeine called Hershey’s Goodnight Kisses, which I bought for the express purpose of letting him try it.  He did and still hates hot cocoa.  So we settled for hot apple juice and called it a day.

The snow is still falling, and I expect it will for the rest of the night.  Tomorrow, we’ll probably try snow-tubing down one of the big hills, and maybe we’ll even get to build a snow man.  I’m sure Gus will treat us to a song - he’s been big on the Christmas carols for a few days now.  Funny how a foot of snow can really make things fall into place during this season - even for those of us who have sensory issues with the cold, wet stuff.

Prompt by Mo at Manic Monday

“Last week the candle factory burned down.  Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.”

~Stephen Wright

Because why try to fight it?  It occurred to me that I was going on about this whole Christmas tree thing all wrong.  So what if Gus wants to obsessively redecorate the tree during every waking moment?  I watched him at it this morning, and he was oddly calm, singing his versions of Christmas carols and just moving the ornaments around.  He actually spread them out now so they’re not all clumped at the bottom.  I’m not entirely comfortable with him around the lit tree with all that water in the bottom, so maybe I just disconnect the lights at a point where he can’t reach?  Or maybe I just don’t worry about it.  Maybe I just go find a yoga class, chill out and let it go. I mean, it’s just a tree, right?  There’s aren’t even any candles on it to start a fire.

We got our tree today, and I don’t remember it being such an exhausting thing when I was a kid, but I’m wiped out.  Lucky for me I get to stay up and work tonight.  Christmas tree day has become one of the parts of the holiday season that I dread just because it’s so draining.  Picking out the tree is easy enough, it’s just what happens afterward.  I often feel bad for the tree.

Today was no different.  I let the kids decorate the tree, not out of any sense of benevolence, but because I have no choice.  Before the netting is even off the tree, it’s trunk barely secured and wet in the tree stand, they attack with gobs of ornaments.  Inevitably I yell to back off at least until I can get the lights on, but apparently the cold alters their ability to understand English.  They only sentence they seem to get is, “If you don’t ________, I’m calling Santa and canceling Christmas!”  That works for all of 30 seconds.

In all seriousness, how do you handle this event with your special needs child?  We try to minimize the overexcitement by delaying the tree purchase as long as possible.  I’m going to spend the next 2 weeks repeating the mantra “leave the tree alone.”  I’m not trying to be a Grinch here, but there are, at the very least, some real safety concerns when a seven year old wants to keep plugging in and unplugging lights or when he’s being wild right next to a seven foot tree.

Getting the tree is not only an exhausting experience for me, but for Gus as well.  He becomes completely obsessed with the it but also wants to do the right thing and stay away from it, so he’s engaged in a constant inner tug-of-war.  The poor kid crashed before his head even reached the pillow and he was crying because his five wishes hadn’t come true, some of which were: the bathtub being longer, the drain being made of wood, and that our house would turn into a giant carrot (he later changed the request to a giant olive.)  I’d say he was pretty fried.

So would it be better to just skip the tree madness altogether?  Do we wait until it’s even closer to Christmas?  I’d love to hear how others handle this.

image from Clipart for Free

Call me a Grinch, but one of my many sources of stress during the Christmas season is the the teacher’s gift.  Not because I don’t think the teacher deserves a gift - she absolutely does.  Not because I don’t want to spend money - money is just tight.  Not because I can’t think of anything to give the teacher - I can think of a million things to buy or make if only I had the money or time.  So what’s the problem?  The problem is that with a special needs child there isn’t just one teacher to consider.  There’s the teacher, the aides (two in Gus’s class) , the therapists (in Gus’s case speech, occupational, counseling, and soon physical therapists), the bus driver and monitors…you get the picture.  Classmates are a completely separate issue, so I won’t even go there.  If you’ve got more than one child and each child has a team of educators…Do you see why I’m stressed?

So because I can’t seem to get my act together this year, I just got what I needed for the service providers.  Between both kids, we’ve got 13 gift recipients - thankfully, MM is in a general education class.  My initial thought was to make small relaxation kits: a candle, bath salts (homemade), and chocolates.  My lack of planning and organization killed the bath salt idea, so we’re increasing the chocolate.  We bought some tins and an assortment of Hershey’s Kisses: hot cocoa, cherry and almond.  Together with the scented candles in some nice wrapping, and that will make for a decent gift, I think.  Who doesn’t like chocolate?  The bus drivers are each getting a tin of cookies.  I’m fairly certain I can get everything assembled before the parties next week.

Am I the only one who hyperventilates over this stuff?  How do you handle holiday gift giving for your child’s teachers and related staff?  If I’m doing it wrong, by all means, please let me know!

It feels like it was just Thursday a day ago, not like a whole week has passed at all!  What am I thankful for today…?

I am thankful for whatever perfect mix of conditions has made it possible for us to see rainbows pretty regularly where we live.  First thing this morning, at the bus stop, there was an incredible rainbow in the distance.  I can’t think of a more uplifting way to start a day, especially a rainy day.  I never saw a rainbow when I lived in NYC.

I am thankful for toy drives!  We got a notice home today that there is a drive going on for gently used stuffed animals.  I won’t bore you with the details of the dancey-dance I did when I read that.  My kids hoard stuffed animals, but they also tend to have very generous hearts.  If I tried to get rid of the squishy dust magnets, they’d have a fit.  But giving them to children who don’t have them…I just had Christmas come early.

Finally, I am thankful for yet another award!  I’m getting totally spoiled now.  Syndi at The Journeys of Cactus Jack Splash has awarded me the Universal Light Award.  Thanks very much!  I am truly honored, and if I am inspiring anyone, that’s reward enough.  I’d like to pass this award on to some people who regularly inspire me:

Emily

Marla

Casdok

Osh

and Maddie

All these moms manage to balance positive outlooks with deep honesty, and rarely a day goes by when I don’t visit their blogs.  Thanks, ladies!