My Autism Insights

  image by John Haslam/foxypar4 on Creative Commons

The clocks are ’springing forward’ tomorrow - brighter days ahead.  It’s a strange time right now: I hear birds signing outside, but the early mornings are still cold and uncomfortable.  All around the ground is a muddy quagmire topped with greenery.  We’re expecting temperatures near 60 today, but since there’s still snow on the ground, many of us parents are still dressing the kids in snowsuits so they don’t get soaked and chilled.  Even the geese have made a couple of cameos, but have decided against signing any contracts just yet; they’re gone again.  It’s the messy ‘in-between’ stage.

It has seemed lately that in some ways Gus has been going backwards; regressing.  In other ways, he has merely stagnated.  He’s still having difficulty with doing independent work in school.  And he’s been wandering the school halls or doing dangerous things like climbing on school furniture.  Why?

Nearly eight years of observation provides a hopeful answer - I try not to worry about these setbacks any more.  It seems that before he can jump forward, he’s got to take a few steps back.  The progress always outweighs the regressions.  I don’t know why exactly this happens. But when I look at nature, it seems that many transitions are less than pretty.  If you’ve ever seen a baby bird hatch, at first they’re all twisted, discombobulated, upside down…and quite unattractive (in a cute, my-mom-just-sat-on-my-head kind of way).

Baby Robin Hatching video by Youtube user JSitube

Gus woke up this morning (at a reasonable hour), dressed himself (in matching clothes even), went downstairs and set his Pokemon game up until everyone else got out of bed.  Clearly, he’s gaining independence.  He’s already gone through a physical growth spurt, and now his mind is following along with a developmental surge.  The regressive behaviors are already starting to fade along with the dark days.  He’s almost squelched through all the transitional muck.  I see sunnier skies in Gus’s near future.

Do you notice any regression in your child just before a developmental leap forward?

Gus has a routine for after school: Watch one PBS show, do homework (Monday through Thursday), watch two more shows until dinner at which time the PBS lineup ends.  What he hasn’t come to accept yet is that periodically, PBS does membership drives that pre-empt his shows.  They are doing one such drive today.

When he came in from school, there was a free Doo-Wop concert on.  I didn’t pay very close attention at first, but when I realized he was still listening to it, I was tickled.  About half an hour later, I realized that the concert had ended and he was listening to something akin to Doo-Wop elevator music and staring at pledge level ads.  When I asked why he still had that on, he got upset that his shows would not be coming on this afternoon.  He honestly expected Electric Company to come on any minute.  Leave it to good old mom to be the bearer of bad news.

Fortunately, the drama that followed was very short-lived and he found something else to watch…at least until his sister decided she didn’t like it and shut the television off.

Kings Cross Clock image by Oxyman from Wikimedia Commons

Gus woke up at 4:40 this morning.  He’s been waking up very early, on and off, for over a week now.  Ironically, he’s been having better days when he’s been up early than he has on the days he’s slept until his usual 5:30-6 or later.  For some reason, this has seemed bizarre, and then I looked at the calendar.  The clocks are springing forward on Sunday.  Could it be that Gus’s body clock is adjusting itself?

We usually start getting the kids ready for a time change a couple of weeks early.  We adjust bedtimes/wake-up times in fifteen minute increments,  earlier or later depending on the season.  It’s saved us from a considerable amount of drama from an abrupt transition.  Maybe after almost 8 years of doing this, he’s finally able to make the switch himself. Maybe this is progress and some self-regulation skills are emerging.  Or maybe he just loves life so much he’s really eager to start the day!

How do you prepare for the seasonal clock changes?

  image of Steve Wiebe from Wikimedia Commons

The King of Kong is not a movie about the autism spectrum, but I’m reviewing it here because throughout the 79 minute running time, I couldn’t help but to be overwhelmed by how many of the people in the documentary exhibited characteristics of OCD (and I really thought at least one guy had Asperger’s).  While I am in no position to say for sure that any person featured in the movie had such diagnoses, there were certainly a lot of symptoms being displayed.  The story was about the rivalry between the top two Donkey Kong players in the world (both have made the Guiness Book of World Records ) Steve Weibe and Billy Mitchell.

This was much more than just a story of video-gamers.  It became a truly epic story of a rivalry that’s gone on for years.  Mitchell originally broke the world record for Donkey Kong in 1982 and held the record until Wiebe broke it in 2003.  Last year, Mitchell reclaimed his title (in a public venue), and Wiebe as of last October became the second person to ever achieve a score over 1 million points in a public venue, but did not take the number 1 position back from Mitchell.

The most interesting thing to me about this rivalry is the level of intensity and obsession both men have with this game.  Yet, it has not impeded them from having successful lives (Mitchell owns a successful restaurant chain and Wiebe is a Science teacher in Washington).  Both have families, but if the film is to be believed, Wiebe at least has had times of putting his complete focus into his game.  His first record-breaking videotape has his son in the background screaming at him to stop playing (which he couldn’t if he was going to break the record).

On the other hand, the film depicts some apparently underhanded behavior from the Mitchell ‘camp’ in order for his record to stand.  Twin Galaxies, the organization that officiates these records, sent two people to take apart Wiebe’s game in order to verify that it wasn’t tampered with - initially against the permission of Wiebe’s wife.  I kept wondering how any of these people held jobs if they were so wrapped up in this competition.

At any rate, whether they have OCD or not, one bright spot that strikes me is that they’ve used their special skill set (and Donkey Kong is an extremely hard game to master, which I have on good authority from my game-obsessed husband) to achieved greatness within their own niche.  The movie goes from just a movie about ‘gamer geeks’ to a truly engaging underdog story.  Definitely well worth a watch.  And who knows, maybe one day Gus will win a world record for playing Pokemon.

Prompt by Mo of Manic Monday

Does allowing an individual with obsessive tendencies to enjoy the object of obsession to a limited degree add fuel to the fire of said obsession? This is what I ask myself all the time.  Let’s use Pokemon as a fairly harmless example.

Gus loves Pokemon.  He’s got encyclopedias of Pokemon memorized and can tell you anything about any of the creatures. Sometimes when he lacks focus in school, the use of Pokemon as a teaching tool has proven effective (add these numbers and find the number of Pokemon in this region).  But there’s always a downside.  Even the most contained fire, if given the right opening, can consume a forest.  He will play his Pokemon video game to the exclusion of many other things, including outdoor activity when the weather permits.

Now, am I really all that concerned about Gus and Pokemon? Not now.  But what if it goes on for the next, oh, 20 years or so?  Is there a point where someone should step in and say, “this is no longer appropriate, so stop now.” And if there is such a point, it would be great if I could get one of those postcards like you get from the dentist when it’s time for a cleaning.

Left field is looking a little too attractive today, so I’ll end here.  Have a great Monday!

And for more on obsessive tendencies, check out Bonnie’s post at Autism Family Adventures .

And later this week, I’ll have a guest post from my buddy at General Hysteria .  Stop by ad check out what she has to say!

It’s great to be in sync with service providers without even knowing it.  Apparently Gus’s Occupational Therapist (OT) has been teaching him to tie his shoes.  For a child with a short attention span and trouble with fine motor skills and coordination, this can be a difficult life skill to learn (tying in general, not just shoes).  Gus had said a while back that he would learn to tie them by the time he turns eight.  Well, that’s coming up pretty quickly, and he might just do it!

I know there are a few strategies used to teach kids to tie shoes .  We’re using the single loop method.  We tried bunny ears, but that just didn’t work for some reason.  Some people use elaborate stories, but ours isn’t too complex.  He sings She’ll Be Comin’ Around the Mountain while he’s tying, which is a double edged sword - he gets the gist of the story, but he also loses focus because of the singing.

1. “She” is on a train coming around the mountain.  So we need to make the train tracks.  Make an X with the laces.
2. The train goes through the first tunnel. Take the tail of one lace, through the tunnel and then pull them apart.
3. Make a mountain.  With the dominant hand, make a single loop and hold in place.  (I find that Gus sometimes forgets to hold onto the loop.)
4. Now the train goes around the mountain and through another tunnel.  Take the straight lace around the loop, and then push from the middle through the second tunnel.  Pull the loops apart.

It’s not a foolproof method, but he’s getting it.  Because he tends to learn well with a musical component (musical intelligence) the song does it for him, but use whatever works for your child.

Has your child learned to tie shoes?  If so, what method worked for you?

I noticed a couple of new things about using music to help Gus focus when he’s doing his homework.  Typically, we use headphones and some sort of quiet, relaxation music while he’s working to help block out distractions. Monday we tried something different.

He hasn’t been using his headphones consistently, but I offered them to him Monday, and he accepted.  I showed him again how to work his MP3, and as I was scrolling through the albums to get to the one he usually likes, he stopped me.  He wanted to listen to Earth, Wind and Fire.  I wasn’t really surprised, but a little skeptical that he’d be able to work with disco pumping into his ears.  I decided to give it a try - he should be allowed to choose what he listens to - but I made the stipulation that if he didn’t pay attention to his work, we were going back to softer stuff.

Homework was completed in record time with minimal redirection or intervention from me.  Wow.

Yesterday I tried an experiment.  Instead of the headphones, I let him have his Earth, Wind and Fire playing from the computer, out loud.  What a disaster!  He didn’t even stay in his seat half the time.

So, apparently, headphones make a big difference, but so does the ability to choose what music is playing.  It stands to reason.  Adults don’t listen to the same thing all the time; we listen to what we’re in the mood for.  And for as much as Gus needs certain routines to remain fixed, the strategies that tend to work, particularly to help with his lack of focus, on any given day are always changing.  A true enigma, that one.  I’m curious to see what he’ll choose today: the Beatles or Mozart or maybe Weird Al?

image from Wikimedia Commons author: CJ

Yesterday, I spent a rare day out with my sister and left Gus and MM at home with my husband.  On my way to pick up Sis, I called the house to check in (not something I should do when on the highway).  First, the phone rang and no one answered; the second time, Gus picked up.  And here’s where the literal thinking took hold.

“Where’s Daddy,” I asked.   Gus was trying his best to have a conversation with me, but wasn’t modulating his voice well enough for me to hear all his words.  (Note to self: don’t try to comprehend the Asperger’s son while driving through an area you haven’t seen in over 5 years - you will waste lots of gas on wrong turns.) In between mumbles, Gus got distracted, but to his credit he kept coming back to me, “Are you still there?”  That I understood, and wow - way to focus, Gus!  Finally, I asked him to bring Daddy the phone.  The line went dead.

I had assumed that Gus was on the cordless.  (Second note to self: why would you assume anything with Gus?)  Guess again!  In an amazing attempt to follow my very vague instructions, he disconnected the receiver from the wall phone and brought it to his dad in the shower!  He did what I asked, quite literally.  Next time, I should be a little more specific.  Gotta love that he’s following directions, though!

Do you have any amusing stories about a literal thinker?

Our last ‘holiday’ activity was to take a trip into New York City to visit the Swedish Cottage Marionette Theater located near 79th Street and Central Park West (there’s an entrance across from the Museum of Natural History).  You may question, “Why not visit the Museum?”  For a kid like Gus who gets overwhelmed with sensory overload very easily and wants to be everywhere at once, the Museum is fun, but it’s also an endurance trial that greatly shortens the length of time that he can manage himself.  The puppet theater, however, was just his speed.

We saw a production of Peter Pan.  The show lasted 55 minutes, perfect for short attention spans (of a 5 year old and a 7 year old with ADHD symptoms in addition to his Asperger’s).  It’s a very small theater, so even at its most crowded, there aren’t but so many kids.  It wasn’t very noisy or busy, and even the little bit of chatter before the show started was annoying Gus who was trying to listen to the music playing.  He coped.  Once the show started, he was thoroughly engaged and sat through it, probably better than some adults who were (very rudely) up and down, in and out of the theater.  At one point during a set change, there was music playing and a disco ball shone lights on the curtain, stage and ceiling.  It was like when Gus was a kid and used to get mesmerized by the ceiling fan or the wind blowing through the leaves in the trees.  Complete fascination.  Even MM got a little zoned out watching the lights.

It was a very long car trip for us, but worth it in the end, despite the obscene parking cost and the subsequent back pain I’m dealing with today.  We thought about taking the train and then subway, but I was worried about Gus getting overwhelmed and overly ‘bouncy’ in what would be for him a dangerous environment.  In the car though, the kids had a packed lunch and chilled out listening to their favorite music.  We got there early enough that they could spend some time at a playground near the theater to work out some of their energy before having to sit through the show.  Before making the trek home, we stopped in the boroughs to visit with my sister and have a bite to eat.  They slept on the ride home - easy peasy.

Many times it can be a challenge to find entertainment for children on the spectrum because of all the sensitivities to their environment.   I’ve found that little excursions to things like community theater, the puppet theater, smaller kids museums, or outdoor activities have worked best for us.  Both kids enjoy their time without getting sent over the edge.  And that works for me.

Prompt from Mo at Manic Monday .

Hmm…things that we have a bounty of in our lives right now:

Days off and half days -  These are bountiful this month and next.  Between holidays, parent/teacher conference days, and any other reason the district can find to shut down,  Gus will be home an awful lot.  So much for the consistency and structure that he needs in order to function.  However, we will get the opportunity for some home learning.  Unfortunately, this also means less time during the day for me to work.  And when work does not get done, the paychecks are not so bountiful.

Toys and stuff that needs to not be in this house - Every year when the holidays roll around, I try to weed out toys that are a) no longer age appropriate b) broken c) not ever played with.  The toy chests are overly bountiful.  The purging never seems to work, which is becoming a problem.  Gus has a hard enough time focusing without having a gazillion options.  Also, trying to help him learn to be more independent in cleaning up after himself becomes even more difficult for him when the amount of things he has to be responsible for is so overwhelming.  And his is the more organized of the two kids’ bedrooms.  Don’t get me started on his sister’s…

Cheese - If I had known how bountiful the joy would be just from such a simple thing as being allowed to eat cheese, I never would have stripped it from Gus’s diet.  He’s been eating dairy again for a few weeks now, and I haven’t seen a significant difference in behavior or focus.

So, to sum up, if it was not clear enough, kids on the autism spectrum (and probably kids in general) benefit from structure and consistency, are not helped by clutter, and are not harmed (unless there is some other gastric sensitivity or allergy) by dairy products.  And that’s all she wrote today.  Your thoughts and comments are greatly appreciated!