My Autism Insights

Prompt by Mo at Manic Monday

“Last week the candle factory burned down.  Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.”

~Stephen Wright

Because why try to fight it?  It occurred to me that I was going on about this whole Christmas tree thing all wrong.  So what if Gus wants to obsessively redecorate the tree during every waking moment?  I watched him at it this morning, and he was oddly calm, singing his versions of Christmas carols and just moving the ornaments around.  He actually spread them out now so they’re not all clumped at the bottom.  I’m not entirely comfortable with him around the lit tree with all that water in the bottom, so maybe I just disconnect the lights at a point where he can’t reach?  Or maybe I just don’t worry about it.  Maybe I just go find a yoga class, chill out and let it go. I mean, it’s just a tree, right?  There’s aren’t even any candles on it to start a fire.

We got our tree today, and I don’t remember it being such an exhausting thing when I was a kid, but I’m wiped out.  Lucky for me I get to stay up and work tonight.  Christmas tree day has become one of the parts of the holiday season that I dread just because it’s so draining.  Picking out the tree is easy enough, it’s just what happens afterward.  I often feel bad for the tree.

Today was no different.  I let the kids decorate the tree, not out of any sense of benevolence, but because I have no choice.  Before the netting is even off the tree, it’s trunk barely secured and wet in the tree stand, they attack with gobs of ornaments.  Inevitably I yell to back off at least until I can get the lights on, but apparently the cold alters their ability to understand English.  They only sentence they seem to get is, “If you don’t ________, I’m calling Santa and canceling Christmas!”  That works for all of 30 seconds.

In all seriousness, how do you handle this event with your special needs child?  We try to minimize the overexcitement by delaying the tree purchase as long as possible.  I’m going to spend the next 2 weeks repeating the mantra “leave the tree alone.”  I’m not trying to be a Grinch here, but there are, at the very least, some real safety concerns when a seven year old wants to keep plugging in and unplugging lights or when he’s being wild right next to a seven foot tree.

Getting the tree is not only an exhausting experience for me, but for Gus as well.  He becomes completely obsessed with the it but also wants to do the right thing and stay away from it, so he’s engaged in a constant inner tug-of-war.  The poor kid crashed before his head even reached the pillow and he was crying because his five wishes hadn’t come true, some of which were: the bathtub being longer, the drain being made of wood, and that our house would turn into a giant carrot (he later changed the request to a giant olive.)  I’d say he was pretty fried.

So would it be better to just skip the tree madness altogether?  Do we wait until it’s even closer to Christmas?  I’d love to hear how others handle this.

image borrowed from Sheppard Software

So we were doing this vegetarian experiment for a week to see what the effect would be on the family: Would Gus focus better or would he start having sleep issues again?  Would MM start eating more?  Would I have more energy?  DH was just going along for the ride and wasn’t looking for any changes to occur.  Last night, after dinner, we took a vote.

“So, what do we say?  Vegetarian or cAAAARRGHnivore?” I said in my best squinty-eyed pirate voice.

I looked at Gus and he didn’t answer, so I figured he was just going to ignore the question, but then he said, “Omnivore.”  Sounds right.

MM: “Omnivore.”

I didn’t even have to ask DH who was trying his best not to laugh.  He admitted he’d already abandoned the experiment earlier that day.  “Omnivore.”  My vote was unnecessary because I’d have been outvoted anyway, but it would have been unanimous.  We all want our meat back.

The Details

The week started off well with individual veggie pizzas.  That was the night Gus wokeup in the middle of the night, but I think if I’d made a whole grain crust (very easy to do with a bread machine as long as you plan ahead) that might not have happened.  For day 2, we had a 3-bean chili, which I’ve made before.   That went over well.  Monday was bad.  That was the meatless loaf day and I can’t even write about it again.  Just.  Bad.

We recovered on day 4 with pasta served with a portobello & black olive marinara, and thankfully I redeemed myself in my family’s eyes.  But then we hit a snag.  Thursday turned out to be a really crazy day that included lots of manual labor.  By the afternoon I was exhausted, I  didn’t feel like cooking, and I was in a very blah mood.  Normally, that would be a hot dog night - no thought or effort involved.  It would have been safer.  We had agreed to have salmon cakes one night during the week, but I didn’t have the energy to make them, so I improvised.  The result was a sort of weird fisherman’s pie (like a shepherd’s pie with salmon and potatoes instead of lamb).  We will never speak of it again after this post.

The salmon debacle signaled the beginning of the end.  I think we were all starting to crave a burger, but we carried on into Friday for a whole wheat spinach and cheese lasagna.  Epic win on that one!  And if I had known how easy it would have been to make, I would have done it on Thursday.  Hindsight and all that.  We wrapped up the week with a whole wheat baked macaroni and cheese served with a huge helping of broccoli.  MM demanded leftover lasagna, but it really wasn’t bad.  She wanted orange cheese and I used white.

Changes?

MM ate spinach and she started requesting lettuce in her salads.  Otherwise, she’s not eating any easier and will manage to find something wrong with whatever I make.  No big change there.

Gus did better than expected in the sleep department, but as far as school, his week was so-so.  He did break out of his passive mode on Monday to berate me (deservedly) for the meatless loaf monstrosity, so it was good to see him stand up for himself.  Otherwise, no change.

One problem I had was that our diet suddenly included a lot more cheese than usual.  My stomach was not too pleased.  Beyond that, I didn’t feel too different.  My energy level seemed more effected by the weather than by our diet.  However, a week is probably not long enough to really feel a difference, and since I have tried this before I know that after a time, I would have had more energy.

DH wants a burger.  Or at least some chicken.

Conclusions

We can handle a few vegetarian meals a week, but ultimately, at this point in our lives, we still need some meat in there as well.    For a long time, I’ve avoided vegetarian cooking altogether because I thought it wouldn’t work for Gus, but some simple adjustments in the types of carbs we give him made it work.  So it’s straight to the middle of the road for us.  Perhaps less red meat, better carbs and more willingness to eat some veggies.  I’d say the experiment went pretty well, all things considered.

Sleeping Beauty by Sir Edward Burne-Jones

We took the kids to see a community theater production of Sleeping Beauty.  I was nervous about going, especially after our fifteen minutes of Wall-E.  Things turned out much better than expected.

The show was a musical, which was a BIG plus because Gus loves music.  It was also the earlier of the two shows, so it wasn’t very crowded.  Win!  We got seats near the back right on the aisle (just in case we had to leave).

We had a discussion about the ‘play rules’ on the way over, and we made sure everyone had lunch so there wouldn’t be any hunger meltdowns.  There was about a fifteen minute wait after we got to the auditorium, but he was excited and in a good enough mood that he handled himself well.  The show itself was great, notably the role of the Prince.  Once the lights went down Gus was mesmerized and wasn’t even disturbed by the fact that there was no intermission.  He actually sat through the show better than MM, who started bouncing in her seat about halfway through the show.  She was funny - at one point during a set change, she said, “Can we just get on with the show?  Enough commercials already!”

We were worried that Gus would be yelling out comments, but he was amazingly good about keeping his voice down.

After the show, the actors hung out in the hall and signed autographs as their characters.  MM got a few, but then Gus decided he wanted one too.  He’d been reading the actors’ bios and decided on one.  So we went up to ‘the Prince,’ a very kind fourteen year old, and Gus asked for an autograph.  Then he proceeded to tell the boy his (the Prince’s) name, and what grade he was in.  Prince was a little weirded out until I explained that Gus had just read his bio on the wall.  I think he thought he had a seven year old stalker.

All in all, a great day out for the family.  I’m sure that the advance prep work made all the difference.  That and I think we were due for a little luck as well.

Manic Monday prompt by Mo!

This is my least favorite time of year for so many reasons, but shopping is right up there on my personal Seven Levels of Hell list.  That’s probably why I do most of my holiday shopping in September and October.  Today is supposed to be Cyber-Monday, the Internet equivalent to Black Friday, I suppose, but I did my online shopping yesterday.  Thank you, Barnes & Nobel for your coupon deadlines!

Gus will be getting (courtesy of his grandparents) the Scholastic Children’s Encyclopedia and a boxed set of Encyclopedia Brown novels.   What could be a better gift for a kid who wakes up asking about things like the 4th dimension and time travel?  When it gets closer to the date, I’m also going to download Encarta 2009 for him, particularly cool because we get to avoid the packaging for this gift!  Go green gifts!

Our purchases for Gus have included: a few Pokemon themed gifts, my old MP3 player loaded with his favorite music (because we recycle) and assorted books for the stocking.  There may be a DVD in the works, if so, it will be High School Musical 3 and will probably be an impulse buy from Walmart while food shopping.  This may seem like a scanty list, but our goals this year were to give the kids more meaningful gifts that they will actually play with (as opposed to just stuff that will sit around cluttering up our already cluttered space) and also to make sure they enjoyed their holiday without being too materialistic.  We want to make sure it’s not all about a gazillion presents under the tree.  MM already gets as much pleasure from giving gifts as she does getting them.  They both love doing holiday baking and delivering dishes of cookies to their friends.  There are other traditions we have that are always much more memorable than what they opened from under the tree. Hopefully, we’re doing a decent job of instilling the deeper significance of the holiday season.

After all, you can’t shop for memories.

It’s been a roller coaster of a weekend for us, and I’m even more convinced that there’s some level of SAD going on with Gus.  His mood swings are disconcerting and I’d be lying if I said they weren’t a little annoying as well.  He’ll be going along just fine and then out of the blue gets very contrary, defiant, and difficult.  He’s even been giving me a hard time about meals, and he’s always been an incredibly good eater.

We spent a very nice day with my sister-in-law and brother-in-law, which included a mountain hike. I thought the outdoor time would do Gus good, and I think it did for a while, but he was also intent on giving me a heart attack.  He made a run toward a sharp drop-off on our way out of the park.  I guess it was a bad idea to have a talk with him about staying away from the cliffs - it seemed to make him curious about what would happen.  He had no fear about them, but before bed he had a meltdown because we’d all been joking about bears being in the park.  He fears the imaginary danger and the real danger is totally lost.  It can be impossible to know what to try to prepare him for and what not to say.

It was also interesting how much he slept yesterday - in the car going to the park, most of the way home, and straight through the night.  I fully expected a 3 am wakeup.

He had a pretty good day today, even though we had to stay in because it was a rainy, snowy mess outside.  He didn’t get grumpy until dinner because I made turkey pot pie, which he usually loves.

Hopefully, the comfort of his school routine will help settle his nerves at least for a couple of weeks, until our routine is shattered again with the holidays.

On a side note, NanoWrimo officially ends tonight, and I finished with an official word count of just over 52,ooo words.  So, now that I’m not obsessively cranking out a novel, hopefully my posts will get a little more interesting again!  Hope you had a great Thanksgiving weekend!  Back to the grind tomorrow!

Interesting question.  So we finally made it to the movies this afternoon to see Wall-E in the second-run theater.   What can I say about Wall-E?

I can say that the short, Presto, at the beginning of the movie was very cute and engaged Gus completely.

I can say that the first fifteen minutes of the movie were very entertaining to DH (dear husband) and me, but MM was a little disturbed and Gus was very interested in the pattern on the wall next to us.

I can say that the popcorn was really overpriced and not worth it - stale.

I can say there’s a good reason we went to see it for $2 instead of $7 or $9.

I can say we probably should have gone to see High School Musical 3 and we may have gotten 45 minutes out of our tickets instead of 15.

I can say I’m glad I waited to buy the DVD because the kids both found the beginning of the movie “sad” (Gus) and “scary” (MM).  They have no desire to watch further.

Is this a negative review of the movie?  Not at all, but I think we’ll be renting from Netflix if we ever want to find out what Eva was looking for.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my American readers, and a general Happy Day to those outside the U.S.!

I’m taking a break from cooking,  cleaning, and watching Teen Titans Trouble in Tokyo  to record what I’m thankful for today:

I am thankful to have my sister coming to visit for the day because we don’t see her nearly enough.   She’s going to spend the night and we may hit the stores bright and early for Black Friday.  Good times!

I am thankful that Gus is pretty calm today and MM has been incredibly helpful, and things are actually getting done - even with me having an audiobook plugged in my ears for most of the morning while I cleaned.   This has so far been one of the most mellow and relaxed holidays we’ve had in a long time.  Thanksgiving 2008 for the win!

I am thankful that my workload is very close to completion and I haven’t cracked yet!  I believe my novel will be complete by the 30th, and all my deadlines will be met by the 1st barring any unforeseen drama.  It’s a nice sense of accomplishment.  And speaking of accomplishment - I see I’ve been awarded another Lemonade Award, and I’m grateful for that too!  So I’ll choose some new recipients tomorrow!

Have a wonderful and safe day, all!  And please share your gratitude in a comment!

  Tomorrow begins the Thanksgiving holiday weekend.  While I love having my kids home, there is always the problem of how to entertain them all by my lonesome.  That challenge is compacted right now because I’m working at home so there are deadlines, and more deadlines, and oh yeah look another deadline.  I’ve got editing to do by Friday; 4000 words to write by Monday; and a novel to finish before Sunday.  Then there’s that pesky holiday to get ready for on Thursday.  How do I accomplish all that and still keep two kids busy?  Clearly, I can’t, right?  Or can I?

I have this crazy idea that I can still make a Herculean push these last 5 days and get everything done.   I think I may have to give up a few extra hours of sleep this week, perhaps just not sleep the rest of the week.  I plan to bribe the children with a movie if they give me a few hours to work tomorrow - High School Musical 3.  Or maybe we’ll check out Wall-E at the second-run theater.  And while I am fully aware that attempting to take the both of them to a movie on my own is probably a good indicator the beginnings of a nervous breakdown, I’m going to try it anyway.

Could it be that I’m sounding like the breakdown’s already begun? Not quite - close, but not quite.  Just having a strange combination of manic energy and not wanting to do anything but listen to Twilight on audio - otherwise known as procrastination.  See, so why should my kids be cooped up because I’m a chronic procrastinator?

I’m not sure how the loudness will sit with Gus, and MM may get bored halfway through.  I fully expect that one will end up wanting to leave and the other will want to stay…or one will want to roam and the other will want to sit.  It will likely be a disaster.  But what’s one more disaster to the big dope who managed to get so overloaded with stuff to do?  We’ll just call it an adventure and move on.

Plus, it will give me something to blog about tomorrow, providing we’re all still in one piece.  My posting may be sparse for the next few days.  There’s only so many words my brain can process in a day.

So, if I don’t post tomorrow or the day after, wishing you all a wonderful Thanksgiving and wish me luck that my brain survives the next few days!

Thanks to Mo from Manic Monday

From YourDictionary.com : Harvest - noun - 4. the outcome or consequence of any effort or series of events.

This is the time of year when we typically receive the harvest of Gus’s efforts during his first quarter of school: his report cards.  He gets two reports - a district report card and an IEP report.  I was a little dismayed to see that the two reports were very different.  So during our parent-teacher conference, I asked why this was.

The district report shows his progress and ability in very generalized areas.  The IEP shows his progress in the specific areas that have been targeted for this year.  Generally, he’s doing fine.  But the specifics are pretty shaky.  There were several ‘not progressing satisfactorily’ marks, mostly having to do with his ability to focus and attend to tasks.  Yet, the meeting made me feel more hopeful.

After Thanksgiving, his teacher will be implementing computer time into the routine, and Gus will be allowed to complete at least some of his independent work on a computer.  So there will be no need for us to buy him a laptop for school, and as a matter of fact, the teacher would prefer he not use one in school because it would likely become a deterrent to complete some of the other things he has to do during the day - like group work.  That’s fine with me, and I think that any amount of computer time will be a benefit for him.

So come next harvest time, probably around the time just before or after the New Year, hopefully the results on his IEP report will be a little more positive.  At least I am certain that his teachers’ and therapists’ attitudes toward him are positive, and that is always a good thing.