My Autism Insights

Recently, Mia from General Hysteria guest posted for us, and now we would like to reciprocate.  I will be posting at her site later in the week about how Asperger’s and neurotypical siblings benefit and hinder each other.  Some points I will touch on include:

• increased compassion for the NT sibling
• increase in socially inappropriate behavior for the NT sibling
• social skills practice partner for the Asperger’s sibling
• sense of abandonment in the Asperger’s sibling when the NT sibling develops outside relationships

My comments will be based on my own experience of living with this dynamic for the past six years.  Please stop by and check out the post!

Manic Monday prompt by Mo

This weekend we met up with my sister’s family to celebrate her birthday at a new Japanese hibachi restaurant nearby.   Gus has had a sort of love/hate relationship with Japanese hibachis: when he was very young, they were no problem, at around 2 they traumatized him, and now he loves them again.  It was a great time, especially since he spontaneously decided he wanted to try sushi!  Fortunately for him, my nephew eats it and ordered some so Gus could try it.

He shoved a piece of raw white fish (it was either squid or halibut) in his mouth, and with a full maw exclaimed, “I wike it!”  The salmon didn’t get as positive a reception.  I was so impressed he actually ate it without spitting it out, that I didn’t bother to remind him not to talk with his mouth full.  We had a great time and he must have eaten his body weight in food. MM tried some new things too: edamame (soy beans), soup, and fried rice.  It was a win all around!

Which gives me a nice segue into the Lemonade Award I received from 2 bloggers: Caregiving Daughter and More Than a Number.  So, I’d like to thank them for the recognition and will pass the honor on to a couple of bloggers who exhibit a positive attitude:

Healing…Through the Eyes of Autism

Autism SucksRocks

Spectrum Siblings

Have a great day, everyone & try to keep it positive!

  image by John Haslam/foxypar4 on Creative Commons

The clocks are ’springing forward’ tomorrow - brighter days ahead.  It’s a strange time right now: I hear birds signing outside, but the early mornings are still cold and uncomfortable.  All around the ground is a muddy quagmire topped with greenery.  We’re expecting temperatures near 60 today, but since there’s still snow on the ground, many of us parents are still dressing the kids in snowsuits so they don’t get soaked and chilled.  Even the geese have made a couple of cameos, but have decided against signing any contracts just yet; they’re gone again.  It’s the messy ‘in-between’ stage.

It has seemed lately that in some ways Gus has been going backwards; regressing.  In other ways, he has merely stagnated.  He’s still having difficulty with doing independent work in school.  And he’s been wandering the school halls or doing dangerous things like climbing on school furniture.  Why?

Nearly eight years of observation provides a hopeful answer - I try not to worry about these setbacks any more.  It seems that before he can jump forward, he’s got to take a few steps back.  The progress always outweighs the regressions.  I don’t know why exactly this happens. But when I look at nature, it seems that many transitions are less than pretty.  If you’ve ever seen a baby bird hatch, at first they’re all twisted, discombobulated, upside down…and quite unattractive (in a cute, my-mom-just-sat-on-my-head kind of way).

Baby Robin Hatching video by Youtube user JSitube

Gus woke up this morning (at a reasonable hour), dressed himself (in matching clothes even), went downstairs and set his Pokemon game up until everyone else got out of bed.  Clearly, he’s gaining independence.  He’s already gone through a physical growth spurt, and now his mind is following along with a developmental surge.  The regressive behaviors are already starting to fade along with the dark days.  He’s almost squelched through all the transitional muck.  I see sunnier skies in Gus’s near future.

Do you notice any regression in your child just before a developmental leap forward?

Gus has a routine for after school: Watch one PBS show, do homework (Monday through Thursday), watch two more shows until dinner at which time the PBS lineup ends.  What he hasn’t come to accept yet is that periodically, PBS does membership drives that pre-empt his shows.  They are doing one such drive today.

When he came in from school, there was a free Doo-Wop concert on.  I didn’t pay very close attention at first, but when I realized he was still listening to it, I was tickled.  About half an hour later, I realized that the concert had ended and he was listening to something akin to Doo-Wop elevator music and staring at pledge level ads.  When I asked why he still had that on, he got upset that his shows would not be coming on this afternoon.  He honestly expected Electric Company to come on any minute.  Leave it to good old mom to be the bearer of bad news.

Fortunately, the drama that followed was very short-lived and he found something else to watch…at least until his sister decided she didn’t like it and shut the television off.

It’s been a long and trying week, but not so much that I can’t keep things in perspective!

Today I am thankful for:

1. The support of other parents who recognize the importance of providing discipline and structure to their children.  It can be challenging enough to not be a doormat for your kids some days, but it is that much harder when other people are, passively or actively, thwarting your efforts.  Loving your child does not mean letting him or her run roughshod all over you, and quite frankly, it doesn’t help the kid one bit.  No one else in the real world will put up with it.
2. I am thankful for my Reiki practice.  Although I haven’t done as much as I want to with it, I’ve suck with meditation and balancing practices.  I see a huge difference, especially in my responses to situations that in the past would have made me want to tear my hair out.  Good stuff, that Reiki!
3. I am thankful for Girl Scout Cookies - not the selling part, but just the general yumminess of them. Isn’t everyone?  They rock!

Your thankfulness below, please, and have an awesome day!

Kings Cross Clock image by Oxyman from Wikimedia Commons

Gus woke up at 4:40 this morning.  He’s been waking up very early, on and off, for over a week now.  Ironically, he’s been having better days when he’s been up early than he has on the days he’s slept until his usual 5:30-6 or later.  For some reason, this has seemed bizarre, and then I looked at the calendar.  The clocks are springing forward on Sunday.  Could it be that Gus’s body clock is adjusting itself?

We usually start getting the kids ready for a time change a couple of weeks early.  We adjust bedtimes/wake-up times in fifteen minute increments,  earlier or later depending on the season.  It’s saved us from a considerable amount of drama from an abrupt transition.  Maybe after almost 8 years of doing this, he’s finally able to make the switch himself. Maybe this is progress and some self-regulation skills are emerging.  Or maybe he just loves life so much he’s really eager to start the day!

How do you prepare for the seasonal clock changes?

image and prompt from Mo of Manic Monday

There are many things I waffle about: what to eat at any given time; which job I want to focus on first; whether or not I want to stay up to watch television after work or just go to sleep like a smart girl.  It’s safe to say that I waffle about almost everything.  Almost.  I can’t say that I’ve ever waffled about feeling a deep gratitude for both of my kids.

I was doing some research this morning and came across a question on Yahoo Answers. A woman was incensed because she was getting calls from her son’s guidance counselor. Why?  Because she’d told him that she wished she’d never had him.  (There was no indication of him having special needs by the way.)  Now, I won’t crucify her here (many of the people who responded to her question already did that), and I can’t say that I’ve ever encountered anyone who would ever say that to their child. But after reading all the responses ripping into this woman, I had to wonder: have these people never had such a thought, at least in the heat of anger or when wallowing? Not saying it’s a good thought to have, and not saying I’ve personally had the thought, but it seems to me that even the best, most loving parent should be forgiven a moment of human frailty - at least if they keep it to themselves?  Even if not about my kids, I’ve had a thought or two that were pretty grimy.

At any rate, I doubt the woman really meant it what she said, and she probably (somewhere deep down) felt badly about saying it.  But a better thing to consider would be if any of us can honestly throw stones.  Something else for me to waffle over.  What do you think?

  image of Steve Wiebe from Wikimedia Commons

The King of Kong is not a movie about the autism spectrum, but I’m reviewing it here because throughout the 79 minute running time, I couldn’t help but to be overwhelmed by how many of the people in the documentary exhibited characteristics of OCD (and I really thought at least one guy had Asperger’s).  While I am in no position to say for sure that any person featured in the movie had such diagnoses, there were certainly a lot of symptoms being displayed.  The story was about the rivalry between the top two Donkey Kong players in the world (both have made the Guiness Book of World Records ) Steve Weibe and Billy Mitchell.

This was much more than just a story of video-gamers.  It became a truly epic story of a rivalry that’s gone on for years.  Mitchell originally broke the world record for Donkey Kong in 1982 and held the record until Wiebe broke it in 2003.  Last year, Mitchell reclaimed his title (in a public venue), and Wiebe as of last October became the second person to ever achieve a score over 1 million points in a public venue, but did not take the number 1 position back from Mitchell.

The most interesting thing to me about this rivalry is the level of intensity and obsession both men have with this game.  Yet, it has not impeded them from having successful lives (Mitchell owns a successful restaurant chain and Wiebe is a Science teacher in Washington).  Both have families, but if the film is to be believed, Wiebe at least has had times of putting his complete focus into his game.  His first record-breaking videotape has his son in the background screaming at him to stop playing (which he couldn’t if he was going to break the record).

On the other hand, the film depicts some apparently underhanded behavior from the Mitchell ‘camp’ in order for his record to stand.  Twin Galaxies, the organization that officiates these records, sent two people to take apart Wiebe’s game in order to verify that it wasn’t tampered with - initially against the permission of Wiebe’s wife.  I kept wondering how any of these people held jobs if they were so wrapped up in this competition.

At any rate, whether they have OCD or not, one bright spot that strikes me is that they’ve used their special skill set (and Donkey Kong is an extremely hard game to master, which I have on good authority from my game-obsessed husband) to achieved greatness within their own niche.  The movie goes from just a movie about ‘gamer geeks’ to a truly engaging underdog story.  Definitely well worth a watch.  And who knows, maybe one day Gus will win a world record for playing Pokemon.