Nov 03 2008
Manic Monday: Colorful
In which Gus learns some new colorful language…
Last week I mentioned somewhere (I think) that Gus had called me a freak because he didn’t like something I was telling him. I told him that it wasn’t a nice word and that he wasn’t allowed to call anyone that. I thought that was the end of that because I didn’t hear it again.
Until this morning. Gus and MM were doing a puzzle of the United States, a nice colorful one with all the state capitals on it (we’re perseverating on capitals these days). They got into an argument and Gus let loose the F-word. “Freak.” He whispered it so that only she could hear him because he is too smart for his own good sometimes.
Of course she starts crying and yelling; her honor has been impugned, dangit!
I asked him, “Do you even know what that word means?” And he looked at me - I notice when he is really interested in something, like a new definition, he’ll make eye contact if for only an instant.
“No! What does it mean?” The boy was practically quaking with excitement.
So we explained in terms that a 5 year old could understand, and then I asked him if he would like it if someone called him a freak? I’d lost his interest by then and got the perfunctory negative response. And MM got the perfunctory apology.
This is a typical problem with pragmatic or social speech deficits. You can take a kid with a huge vocabulary and ability to retain information, but he won’t necessarily understand the nuances or the impact of those words, when it’s appropriate to use language in different situations, or that people may react differently to the same phrase. What he said to me that just earned him a verbal correction greatly upset and hurt his little sister. So it’s an interesting task to try to teach him about not saying hurtful things. I don’t even want to think how nuts it will get when the words get even more colorful as he ages and is exposed to more advanced children.
I have a fifth grade autistic student who is struggling with something similar. He has a hard time understanding that some of the comments he makes are inappropriate: last week in class he made up new words to a song about how it was boring and drove him crazy - and sang it in the middle of class. He doesn’t understand what’s appropriate/inappropriate, and what’s even more difficult is that he loves the attention - he wants to be the class clown. So his facilitator is working with him on it, it’s something he will have to work harder to learn, I guess!
That’s exactly it - he does have to work harder at it than the typical child. Have patience with him.