My Autism Insights

I should have known better. When the note came home that Gus had pushed another student, I should have known that he was having an ‘off’ day. He has never in his life done that (not until the 25 mg of Strattera, but that’s for another day). He was kind of grumpy and snappish from the time he got home; even when we took him bike riding, he wasn’t his usual happy self. Don’t ask what we were thinking when we asked the kids if they wanted to go to their favorite diner for dinner. Yes, say it, that was just dumb.

To make matters worse, my daughter wasn’t having an exactly stellar afternoon - not bad, but getting to her edge. I had Mount St. Helens before my eyes and didn’t see it. I shouldn’t even have to give the details: everything was taking too long, why did we have to wait or the waiter? the order wasn’t what they wanted, the food was terrible…the mountain was ready to erupt.

So how did we escape only slightly charred? For a change, we let go.

Instead of trying to make the kids stay put, we recognized that they needed to get up, but we did it in an orderly way so as to not disturb other diners. My husband took Gus for a stroll first - he was closest to melting down - and then later, after he ate, he took M.

Gus hasn’t been eating normally and was peeved about his meal. “I didn’t ask for grilled chicken!” I know better than to let him just have fries for a meal - I’d pay my penance for that at 3 am when he would wake up ready to party. So he had to eat the chicken. So I doused it with as much ketchup as I could and negotiated eating a piece of chicken with a fry. It worked for a few minutes and I got two whole mouthfuls of my meal. M flatly refused to eat anything - she didn’t like the sauce on the pasta.

We got the check, hubby took M for her walk to pay the bill and I packed up everyone’s meal - we’d eat at home. Usually, we’d just eat as quickly as possible, ignoring stares and scowls; stay until we were ready to beat our heads into a wall; this was the first time we just let go of our own ideas and followed the flow. We need to do that more often.

We got home, and the kids were still in their state. M was furious that she had to eat at least some of her meal because we don’t just waste food. Gus was on sensory overload from his sister’s crying - his best trigger. So, I took him up to his room, with his dinner (with his permission of course) and he ate some more chicken away from the drama. Within a few moments he had settled down. M ate some of her dinner and was allowed to make herself a sandwich.

Not the evening we had in mind, but when I think of all the ways it could have been worse, I’m okay with the outcome.

Edit:  Gus was up at 3:30 anyway, but I’d bet my left arm that it’s the Strattera and not the fries.

Trackback URI | Comments RSS