May 12 2008
Balance in All Things
The other day I posted about how schools often have unrealistic expectations for their special needs students. At the other end of the spectrum, some parents seem to think that because their child has special needs, there should be no expectations whatsoever. They seem to have bought into the whole idea of autism being a sentence of hopelessness. There needs to be a balance; the bar needs to be set low enough that there is a chance to succeed, but high enough that success is meaningful.
A friend the other day took exception with the way I handled a situation with my son. I made him apologize for doing something inappropriate: At a school assembly, when he went up to receive an award from the principal, he grabbed the microphone to make a joke instead. Not the worst thing in the world and probably something to laugh about by now, but still rude towards the principal. I knew he couldn’t really help himself, and there was no punishment. At the same time, he did something inappropriate: How is he supposed to learn what’s appropriate and what isn’t if I just look at each action he takes as ‘okay because he has special needs and can’t control it?’ Turning a blind eye will ensure that he won’t ever get it.
Being autistic does not equate to being unable to learn. It means that someone has to find the way that the individual learns best. But learning, discipline and structure, as with any child, still begins in the home.
